Badger’s Eurovision Round Up

Well despite Badger’s slightly ironic Twitter commentary (you know you love it even if you pretend to ignore it or not know its happening) this year’s special 60th Anniversary addition of the contest was very good.  This was not least due to the excellent hosting of Austria.  The theme of the contest was “Building Bridges” – which was achieved incredibly well by the open and accepting format.  This Eurovision really managed to put politics to one side and unite Europe, demonstrating we can do it.  If only every night was Eurovision night.

So we can’t possibly talk about every act, there were twenty of them in the final, and we know what a short concentration span you have, so instead we’re going to break it down into a few of the favourites.

The Winner

Sweden won, with a song called Heroes, which had fantastic special effects, which must have greatly contributed to the vote, as although the song was very catchy, and Måns Zelmerlöw really knew how to work the crowd, the song itself did not even hit my radar as a contender initially.  

See what you think. Try listening first without watching, then watch, see if your opinion changes.

 

The Runner Up

Russia’s A Million Voices came second, and when the first part of the voting was over it looked a lot like it was destined to be the winner.  Political issues aside it was a fantastic song, passionately performed, and would have been a deserving winner.  It certainly met the brief of “building bridges” and the lyrics spoke of peace and unity.  Coming second shows solid support for a good song, but does save the rest of Europe any concerns about the moral implications of having to stage next year’s contest in Russia.  After all, any gay contestants practising openly gay “propaganda” (presumably being a woman with a beard counts) would have stood a solid chance of being arrested, which is inconvenient if they are commentating.  Still, putting that aside and the slight wondering why Pussy Riot wasn’t asked to be Russia’s Eurovision entry, the song was fabulous, really.  See for yourselves.


The Overlooked Song

This year’s Polish entry entry was brilliant, not least because she wore actual clothing and did not molest a butter churn, a fact for which I will remain eternally grateful.  It was very surprising that this song did not do better, although it would have helped if either her microphone was louder, or the backing music was quieter (you see Youtube commenters, there are ways around things without being patronising or “making allowances”- just sayin’).  Whilst Sweden was not really on my radar, I thought Poland was a dead cert for the top three, but apparently the voting public did not appreciate the lack of a milk churn, or the sexual innuendos one can achieve whilst making butter, and the votes certainly did not reflect my views of the song.

See what you think.

The Wild Card

Georgia’s Entry, “Warrior” was different from anything else in this year’s contest, and for this reason if no other deserves a nod from Newsnibbles.  Whilst Nina Sublatti’s costume made her look like an angry crow, her voice is very powerful and the song itself was very good.  Maybe I have spent too much time reviewing theme metal bands (more classic Rockonnection reviews will be added here soon) but actually I thought the whole thing was rather good, but perhaps not “poppy” enough for Eurovision?  See what you think.

The Results

Whilst the multiple losses of contact with several countries made me think that Austria might be better off using Skype to retrieve their results (I know right?) this portion of the evening was as entertaining as ever, with the different presenters trying to make their thirty seconds of fame as memorable as possible, with desperate attempts at humour and outfits that certainly were memorable.  The highlight of the results was when Friend of Newsnibbles (this may be putting it a little strongly) Valentina Monetta delivered San Marino’s results.  Next year is your year Valentina, we can feel it.  Despite thinking that the use of Nigela Lawson to deliver our results was simply rubbing Toriness in the faces of us and Europe, Nigela did a pretty good job.  She did not attempt to be funny, was not wearing any dead animals and spoke in multiple languages, which is quite respectful of Eurovision, so well done Nigela, not just a soufflé rock star, eh?

Think we haven’t touched on a song you would like given the Newsnibbles treatment? Post a comment below and we will review it, just for you.

If you haven’t heard of The Eurovision Song Contest please visit our “Eurovision for Americans” informative article for more information.

Share your thoughts on the Eurovision, post a comment below.  Don’t be rude though, rude will not be published.

Happy Eurovision, Nibblers.

Share

An Energy Drink with a Difference

If you thought it was disturbing when we

Cute Image Cutesy of @Destructo_Dog on Twitter, in an attempt to soften the blow of this story.

Cute Image Cutesy of @Destructo_Dog on Twitter, in an attempt to soften the blow of this story.

shared the information about breast milk ice cream with you, then stop reading now.

A woman from Swindon has had a court order banning her from using raw placenta to make smoothies.  Really.

According to the BBC Report the woman cannot afford to fight the ban, which was a relief to us here in the Newsnibbles office, as it is bad enough the stuff the interns leave in the fridge at the moment.

According to the report the woman, who we are choosing not to name as it would involve remembering her name or flicking from tab to tab, which would ruin the creative flow of this report stated that:

“It’s full of iron and other nutrients that are very good for new mums who have just been through a very energy-expending experience.”  Well, so is spinach.  She also stated, response to the concern that Staphylococcus aureus bacteria is present in human placenta that “I personally have seen scientific evidence that makes me believe the risk is not there.”

This evidence, however apparently did not convince the court, and since the BBC report did not go on to show said evidence, we can’t tell you what is is, as that would involve doing actual research and life is too short.

Apparently the argument that practically every other mammal does it also did not hold up in court, which is also a relief to us as we have genuine concerns as to the kind of precedent this would set should it be a winning argument.

Not done our hard hitting political quiz yet?  Why not scroll back a post and give it a go?

Share

Badger’s Serious Political Quiz

Not really.  We think where we’ve been going wrong with the quizzes lately is we’ve been making them far too hard, so this one really is just for a bit of fun.  We were going to ask you all sorts of hard questions like “In the Leader’s Debate, which leader was named after a fish,” and “Which one was it that only had one stock answer, something about immigration” and “which one rhymes with egg”.  But we know you struggle with these sorts of intellectual quizzes, so instead we have a picture quiz for you.  Below are two seemingly identical pictures, what we want you to do is spot the difference.  No need to email in, just answer in a comment below.  This one’s just for fun.

Good luck Nibblers.

Share

Pilot Episode 5: Worth a Deux

The moonbase security services were less than pilot cover imageeffusive that we had done their job for them. They were asking a lot of questions about the licensing of Moonbug, she’s no-body’s fool. I, on the other hand am everybody’s fool, and it was becoming pretty clear that “I won her in a poker game” was not going to cut it when it came to the licensing of my fairy.
“Come on, Son. Either you’ve got the right papers or she’ll have to be put down. Simple at that I’m afraid.”
“You can’t do that…” I began. Blagging it had always been one of my skills, but on this occasion I was, admittedly, struggling.
“Don’t say another word.” A smart woman in a pant suit strode into the room. “You’ve been talking to my client without representation? Totally unacceptable. Come on,” she turned to me. “We’re leaving.” I did not need to be told twice. I moved like a rocket to the door.
“Wait, there’s still the matter of the unlicensed fairy.”
“He doesn’t need a license, he’s in a protected profession. He’s a bounty hunter, on my team.” The woman placed a business chip on the desk and raised her eyebrows daring the men to defy her. They did not.
“Alright, you’re free to go.”
“Not without my fairy.”
“She’ll be released to you at checkout.”
“Wow, thanks,” I said to the woman as we rounded the corridor heading for checkout. “I did not know that a bounty hunter was a protected profession.”
“There’s lots you don’t know, but you’re going to have to learn fast.”
When we arrived at checkout the fairy was chained to the wall by her neck, much the way they chained bears on old Earth, when they would beat them and make them do tricks.
The woman who was with me still was visibly distressed and started pulling at her clothes as if they were the reason this had happened. I was angry.
“Unchain her at once!” I screamed at the man behind the desk.
“She ain’t getting unchained in here,” he said flatly. “I’ll give you the keys you can unchain her when you get outside. You just gotta unhook it from there.” He indicated that the end of the chain was hanging from a hook, just too high to reach.
The woman leapt in the air and unhooked the chain in one move. The fairy could not look at her from what appeared to me to be terror.
“Come on, let’s go.” She said, holding the very end of the chain, like if she got any closer she would catch something. Maybe she was a recovering dust addict.
“Keys?” I demanded of the guard, who handed them over.
“I’m here,” the woman said indicating a huge hover craft which obviously doubled as her office. She opened the door. “Get those chains off her.” As she stepped inside she started to cry. Clearly the strain of holding it together had been too much for her.
Quickly I unchained the fairy and as I turned to ask how she was she ran past me and into the van.
“June, are you OK? That was so brave, you shouldn’t have done it!” She threw her arms around the woman. Clearly I’d missed some sort of woman bond thing. Not having my own gender did make me a bit clueless.
“I’m sorry it took me so long.” The woman, June, cupped the fairy’s face in her hands. “I was tracking the rhinos, how’d you end up with this guy?”
“He won me in a poker game.” The fairy looked across at me and smiled.
“I bet he did. Jackpot. What’s he done with you since?”
I could sense the woman was becoming angry, imagining I had created some sort of sex slave.
“Mostly we played chess,” I said. “So, um, if you’re happy here I will leave you to it and get back to my ship.”
“You can’t go. I said you work for me. You have to at least keep up appearances until the security forces have gone.”
“So, what? You want me to be a bounty hunter?” I said mockingly.
“Yes, we split the take 60/40. 60 comes to me because I have the outlay.” She handed me a deux. “This is your take from those dust dealers.
“Nice…” I eyed the coin incredulously. I’d never scored this well, even in the high stakes poker.
“I will give you a ship and your mission. All quarries are returned to me – I’ll do the paperwork and collect the take. Then you get paid.”
“Do I work with my partner?” I looked at the fairy, who smiled at me. “You know, for appearances.”
“I’ll make sure your ship comes with a chess set.” The woman said dryly.

So, that’s it. That’s how I became a bounty hunter, partnered with a fairy. And these, I guess, are our stories.

So, that’s the final part of Pilot, so let us know what you think, and watch this space for more of Badger’s writings. Visit the Badger’s Books page for more information on already published stuff, and follow us on Facebook and Twitter for the latest updates.

Pilot is the latest story by the badger known as C H Clepitt, and is copyright, obv.

Share

Nibblets

Well it’s been a while, so we thought we should hit you up with some more Nibblets.  Badger has stopped eating crisps and watching Youtube videos long enough to throw this together for you.

What the Spok?!

After the death of actor Leonard Nimoy, most famous for his portrayal of Spok in the SciFi series Star Trek, Canadian fans have been “Spokking” (Spelling made up based on what we learned in nursery so please feel free to correct) their five dollar bills.  According to dangerousminds.net “the five dollar bill {…} features a portrait of Canada’s seventh prime minister Sir Wilfrid Laurier”, who, it has to be said does bear a certain resemblance to the recently deceased actor, more so now that he sports a Sharpie Vulcan wig and pointy ears.  According to the site the practice of “Spokking” ones money is not illegal but could cause problems in the future, rather like binge drinking.  The simple solution here we would like to suggest is that Canada gives Spok his own bank note.  Do they have a $2 bill yet?

More Spokky articles on Newsnibbles.

Do NOT Rile a Badger

As if you didn’t already know that.  However your experience with Badger on Twitter may have lead you to the mistaken belief that all badgers are able to use their words to sarcastically express frustration over things like being culled, the amount of news coverage the bloody BBC gives to UKIP and hardly any to the Greens and general small mindedness (for the love of Pete someone give her a biscuit).  However, this is not the case for all in the Meles Meles family.  Much like people some badgers express their frustrations through holding visitors to a Stockholm hotel hostage for approximately 40 minutes.  According to Jezebel  the badger prevented guests from entering or leaving the building until wildlife services came to remove it.  If that badger would like to talk to us here at Newsnibbles and give its side, we would listen.  It is unclear as to whether the guests or staff of said Stockholm hotel left feeling an affinity/wanting to marry the badger, but if they did someone should come up with a name for that… Maybe Badger Syndrome?

Princess Rap Battles!!

Well, Badger spending far too much time on YouTube actually paid off this week when she discovered Princess Rap Battles!! Possibly the best thing ever, famous princesses from films including Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Disney films rap off against each other to discover who’s the ultimate Rap champion.  There are not enough for an album yet, but when there are, release it, with a related DVD, PLEASE, they are totes amaze (we are hip and down with the kids).  The most recent addition features actress Sarah Michelle Gellar as Cinderella rapping off against Belle, played by Whitney Avalon, who appears to be the genius behind this awesome piece of parody.  We have embedded it for you below, but be warned, they are highly addictive and you can’t watch just one, so be prepared to get nothing done.

 

Share

7 Questions

7 Questions is a new addition to Newsnibbles, where we ask one of our Twitter followers 7 questions (thus the name…) This week we as @Amadeusivan

1. What is Ammy’s

eigenaars

Delight, and where did the idea come from for it?

Ammy’s Delight is a small business which makes home made dog biscuits. All biscuits are made using the best ingredients we can get. That means free range eggs from our own chicken, free range chicken breast and no added  artificial ingredients, sugar or salt. We use only 100% natural ingredients.

 – How did it start?

 It started about 1 1/2 year ago as I decided that the biscuits for the boys were full of artificial ingredients and I didn’t like the idea I  was giving it to them. So I started to bake my own biscuits. They loved them from the start and after a while I sent them to my friends on their Birthday and  Christmas.

After a while an American friend asked me the name of the bakery where I bought those beautiful biscuits. After I explained I made them myself , she  said I should start my own bakery and sell them online. That was the beginning of Ammy’s Delight.

 

2. If you could invite 3 people/animals from history round for some kibble, who would you choose and why?

 Well let me think the first one which comes up my mind (this is Amadeus talking) is SUNNY the dog of president Obama. Why, you wonder?  Well I would like to woof with him what it like to be a presidential dog, how is life at the White House, does he have his own sofa and bodyguard, I would have so many questions for him.

The second one would be (this is Marjo talking) Ghandi as I admire him as a person who brought peace to the World not by fighting but with talking.

The third one would be (here is Amadeus talking) my sweet luf Jezebel from Canada. I would love to meet with her and do some serious snowsnout playing.

 

3. Who do you admire and why?

I admire my mummy Marjo. First of all because she took me in her home to live with her despite the fact that my backlegs aren’t too well. Second because she is doing a pawsome job with Ammy’s Delight.

 

4. What five words would describe you best?

 Well to describe myself is very easy
  1. HUGE. I am a Leonberger and that breed belongs to the huge breeds like the St. Berhnard dog.
  2. SWEET I love to cuddle and give kisses
  3. CLUMSY I throw everything from tables with my huge tail so people must be very carefully placing something hot like a cup af coffee on a table
  4. LAZY  despite we are a large breed we don’t like to walk a lot. We like to snooze a lot.
  5. TEDDYBEAR I look and act like a teddybear

5. Who is your most famous customer? What did they buy?

My famous customer well I am sorry but I made a promise not to tell anybody who they are and what they’re buying from me. They like to have their privacy and I respect that. The only thing I can tell is that its an American actor family.

 6. Where do you stand on the topic of pet couture? (outfits)

Well outfits, I have 1 beautiful coat which Sammy has bought for me and that fits me perfectly. Otherwise all the outfits which are sold in petshops are too little for me.
So I think I stand at the bottom of topic of pet couture.

 7. Anything you would like to add?

Well the last thing I would love to say is that Ammy’s Delight is now looking for distributors in the United States and the UK. This should be dog related business like groomers or little petshops who would like to sell our biscuits directly. There would be no investent required and if they like the idea they can contact us through email ammysdelight@gmail.com.

Further I would like to say that everybody should look at our website: www.ammysdelight.com for the delicious biscuits and the super options we have for Easter.
If they visit the website and want to order some biscuits or Easter options please make a note at the orderpage that you have found us through this interview and they get a 10% discount of the total amount.
Also I would like to say that shipment to the States or Canada is not a problem.

 

Fancy answering 7 questions? Tweet us @BadgersTweetToo

Share

Pilot: Episode Four

Episode Four: Kids These Days

When I returned to my quarters the door had been ripped off and there were signs of a struggle inside.  Now, let me be clear, my door (like all the pilot cover imagedoors) is six inches thick and airlock.  All the quarters on the Moonbug are designed to be self sustaining life pods.  My mother was a marine, and much like the boy scouts, they are always prepared.  And this shit had not been blown off the hinges, we would have heard it.  This had been physically ripped off the wall by someone who was on something to make them very strong.  Without thinking I leapt through the hatch  and started flinging things aside looking for the fairy.  I’m not sure why I thought she’d be hiding under a chair or something, but I was in a kind of blind panic.  Maybe the dust did affect me, but in a different way.  Who knows.

 

When it became clear to me that she was not hiding under the bed I leapt back out of my quarters and tore down the corridor to find my mother.

 

“She’s gone! Someone’s taken her!” I exclaimed breathlessly as I flew in.

“I know.”  My mother was frowning and looking at the monitor above her head.  On board security cameras cover any public area of the ship and the three “students” were waiting by the disembarking hatch, pacing, waiting to get off.  One of them had MY fairy in an armlock, and she did not look at all comfortable.

“What are we waiting for?” I demanded drawing my staff.  “Let’s kick their arses already!”

“It’s not that easy.”  My mother spoke tensely.  She was never one to shy away from a fight and I could tell that she was riled to be watching and not acting.  “This feed is streaming direct to Gallery security personnel,” she continued.  “These three are wanted across the galaxy.  They are dealers, not just dust.  And they’re on something much worse.  They’re too strong for us.”

“Yeah… but they aren’t quick.”  I was studying them intensely on the monitor, searching for weaknesses.  “And whatever they’ve taken, they’ve take too much, they’re twitchy.   Look at their eyes.  We can take ‘em.”

“You’re right,” she said, taking her stun stick from under the desk.  “Let’s do it.”

As we crouched on the low balcony peering through the tiny gap at the criminals a voice in my ear made me cry out and almost blow our cover.

“What we looking at?” Kia whispered.

“Shh!” I hissed irritably. “We are watching some fugitives, waiting for the right time to apprehend them!”

“Gotcha,” she said.  Clearly she was still under the influence of the dust. “What you need is a distraction!”  With that she leapt over the balcony and landed on her feet (of course) right in the middle of them.

“Hi fellas, what’s going on? You know, that looks a lot like my friend’s fairy you’re holding…”

“What they hell is this?” One of them looked menacingly at her.

“It’s a distraction.” She shrugged, and with that her claws were out and she was ready to pounce. We took the queue and leapt over the balcony.  I used my staff like a pole vault, swung my legs 360*  around and knocked one to the floor, out cold. As I looked across another was lying on the floor twitching, a result of my mother’s weapon.  This just left us the one with my fairy in a vice grip.  She was clearly of great value to him to him as he had not released her to attempt to help his colleagues or escape.

“Let her go.” I said firmly.

“She’s wild, I’m within my rights to claim her, back off or I’ll kill her.”

“She’s already claimed, and you have no rights on my ship.”  I could sense my mother was quite ready to kill this jackass if she had to.  “Let her go and you might still have children one day.”

Suddenly the fairy brought her elbow back really hard into his groin.  He collapsed on the floor, tears in his eyes.  Mother shot a bolt of electricity into him, just to be sure.

“That was good!” I smiled at the fairy.  “You can join the crew!”

“I didn’t like the idea of him having children, seemed unfair to the universe,” she told me.  Then, with a serious look in her eyes, “can I?”

“Can you what?”

“Join the crew?”

“Sure, I guess.” I looked at my mother.

“She’s your fairy,” she said as she and Kia tied the three unconscious fugitives together.

“Am I?” The fairy asked, looking at me.

“Are you what?”  I felt like she thought we had some sort of psychic bond, and I wasn’t quite there yet.

“Yours.”

“Well, only if the law asks,” I said awkwardly. “Otherwise you’re yours.”

“I’m glad,” she said slipping her hand into mine and looking into my eyes.  “I don’t think I’d want to be anyone else’s, you understand.”

I felt the strangest feeling, like the rush of adrenaline you get when you’re about to have a fight, only warmer and kinder.  It was almost like a bubble, a hug in my brain.  I’ve never felt it before.  I didn’t know what to do or say, so I said:

“Well thanks I guess.  Fancy a game of chess?  Best of seven…”

Read more by this author, Search C H Clepitt on Amazon or visit chclpitt.com

Share

/crew Chronicles: Pilot

Her is the third instalment of the new SciFi mini series by C H Clepitt.

Episode 3: The Queen’s Gambit

 

“This way,” I said as I led the fairy down the corridor to my quarters.pilot cover image

“What are you going to do with me?” She seemed terrified.

“Nothing,” I said flatly.  “Next Stop is Gallery 3M, so you can get off there or ride with us until something more interesting takes your fancy.  I’ll have to keep you with me until the dust wears off though, can’t have everyone falling all over themselves to get to you, we might crash or something.”

“You aren’t.”

“Aren’t what?”

“Falling over yourself to get to me.”

“Well, I’m special.”

She looked at me with a curious expression before saying “Yes, you are.”

I could feel my cheeks go red and space bugs started to dance in my stomach.

“Well Jeeze, I’m not slow or anything…”

My embarrassment was interrupted by Hank crashing down the corridor looking incredibly dishevelled.  His shirt was untucked, his hair a mess and he was only wearing one boot.

“Hey Bro,” he grinned.  “Kia is in a good mood today…”

Hank and Kia had an on again off again relationship for months and it’s my guess that thanks to the dust it had been on again today.

“Aw, Hank…”  I was kinda disappointed by his lack of self control, although he would be the first to point out that I have no idea what it’s like.

“Who’s this?” Hank was past me and all over the fairy.  Clearly he’d got himself a whiff of dust.  I jumped in-between them.

“This is my pal, Faye.  She’s staying with me.”

“I want her.”  Suddenly the look in Hank’s eye was aggressive and frightening.  I had never seen him like that before, but is was the desperate sort of look addicts have when they need a fix and will do anything for it.

“Well you can’t have her.” I said firmly, keeping my position squarely between him and the fairy.

“Get out of my way little brother.”  He shoved me, hard.

“It’s OK,” the fairy looked at me very sadly as I moved to keep her behind me.  “It happens a lot.  I’m used to it.”

For some reason this made me incredibly angry.  Why should she have to get used to it just because people lack self control?

“Well it’s not happening on my watch!” I said decidedly.  “Hank, this is for your own good!”  And with that I whipped out my extendable staff and knocked him out cold.  “He’ll thank me in the morning,” I sured the fairy as I bound him to the railing with his belt.

“Crew?” – everyone calls me Crew.  “Crew.” Kia’s hand was on my shoulder.  “I need you.”

“Oh, no…” I removed her hand awkwardly.  “You definitely don’t need me, you need a cold shower.”

“Come take it with me.” She started unbuttoning my shirt.

“Kia! No!” Suddenly I was catching a dead weight as the fairy knocked her out with the butt of Hank’s gun.

“You hit her!”  I was stunned.

“You hit him.”  She sounded confused.

“I suppose I did.” The logic was unmistakable. “Grab any loose weapons,”  I said as I slung her over my shoulder.  I’ll lock her in her quarters, then I’ll show you where mine are.  Once this dust has worn off you can have your own.  How long does it usually take?”

“I have never been locked in a jar with it before,” the fairy admitted.  “Usually I shrink and shed somewhere open then return to normal size.  Then it’s just a few hours that I have to avoid people.  In this case I don’t know.”

“Oh well,” I said as I slung Kia down on her bed.  “Can you play chess?”

 

***

 

“Damn, you’re good at this!” I said as she called check on me for the third time.

“I’m a strategist,” she smiled.

“Crew?” There was a banging on my hatch.

“Yes Mum?”

“Did you knock your brother out and tie him to the railing again?”

“I had to, he was under the influence!”

“Well come and help me move him to his quarters, someone might trip over him.”

“OK!”  I rolled my eyes and stood up.  “Stay here and don’t let anyone in,” I told the Fairy.  “I’ll be back soon.”

She nodded.

Hank works out a lot, and he is not light.  It took me and my mother a good half hour to shift him back to his quarters, which is why originally I opted for the railing.  When we eventually got him to his bed he was starting to come around.

“Hey buddy,” he said groggily. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to muscle in on your girl.

“Just stay here for a bit,” I told him reassuringly.  My mother raised her eyebrows at me.  I chose to ignore it.

 

“We’re nearly at the Third Moon,” Mother announced as we entered the cockpit.  She switched from auto pilot and sat down.  “Once we’ve offloaded the students we can sit down and decide what to do with your fairy.

“She’s not MY fairy!” I said slightly irritably.  “She can do what she wants.”

“SA law says that a fairy is either wild or under ownership.  if she’s in an inhabited area and no-one claims her she’ll be shot, you know that.  For once in your life you need to take some damn responsibility.  You won her, she’s yours.”

“But I told her she can do what she wants.”

“Well she must know the law too,” Mother began, before holding up her hand to silence me and radioing through to Gallery 3.

“Gallery 3, this is Moonbug HS requesting a docking permit.”

“What is your purpose Moonbug?” The crackly voice came through the radio.

“We have passengers looking to disembark, over?”

“Please hold your position whilst we verify your papers, over?”

“This always takes and age,” my mother was speaking to me again.  “Go talk to your fairy.”

Share

Weather With The Wall Street Bull

I’m typing this from under 30 inches of snow snowbullfrom Blizzard Juno. Just kidding! Only 15 inches.

This was a veritable Edsel of storms–it was hyped as an uberevent, which made the actual event anticlimactic although it was significant in its own right. Gotta love advertising.

Mayor de Blasio, normally an empathetic guy, chose to close down the subways instead of dramatically reducing service. Although the city said that no person who was seeking shelter would be turned away, there’s just no freaking room to accommodate the usual 60K-plus people who sleep in NYC municipal shelters every night PLUS the estimated thousands of additional people who go unsheltered. (Figures from Coalition for the Homeless.) For better or for worse, riding the subway is the only shelter of which many of the homeless avail themselves, so taking that away without a viable alternative was a knife in the heart for many. CAN WE NOW GET SERIOUS ABOUT SEIZING ABANDONED BUILDINGS THROUGH EMINENT DOMAIN AND CREATING AFFORDABLE HOUSING?

But I digress.

City workers did a decent job of clearing the snow, but we’re not whole yet. Subways opened at 7:30 this morning (Jan 27), which might give some businesses the idea that they can expect employees to come to work today as if nothing happened, but it ain’t that easy. It’s still freezing, with icy streets and sidewalks in many places. My advice? Stay home. Watch daytime TV–that’ll make you appreciate your job, no matter how shitty it is.

They’re calling for snow to continue until the afternoon. We’re all hoping that trash collection happens today and that everyone stays safe. We’re also hoping that at least one flight to Puerto Rico that has a seat with a lot of shank room can get out of JFK.
-30-

Byline: The Wall Street Abominable Snowbull.

For more insights and opinions from our shiny friend follow @TheWallStBull on Twitter 

Share

Badger’s End of Time Quiz

This one’s clever, see if you can work it out. Not bothering giving entry details, if you think you know the answers and want to play then post a comment.

  1. Who starred in the films Ransom, Braveheart and What Women Want?
  2. What do you call a rock flying through space?
  3. The collective name for male humans is…
  4. A country in South America known for it’s waves…
  5. What is the Latin name for the European Badger?

Bonus if you know what the link between all the answers are.

 

Share