Or rather don’t. You may not have heard about the current butter crisis in Norway. The unexpected butter shortage has caused panic
buying and concerns that Christmas baking will be put in jeopardy by lactose free food. The shortage has been put down to a combination of the wet weather making the cows eat less, and a television chef telling people to cook with butter.
One elderly Norwegian woman told The Guardian “I brought up my four children under German occupation but this is nothing like that.” – Which is a relief.
The shortage has led to a black market trade in butter and cheese, which has led to dairy products being smuggled across the border from neighbouring Sweden, to be sold on at extortionate prices to butter deprived Norwegians.
Border police intercepted two Swedish men this week attempting to smuggle undeclared butter across the border to be sold at $42 a packet, allegedly.
On Saturday, after a tip off from an unknown sauce, police intercepted the Krafty thieves attempting to smuggle 250kg of contraband butter across the border. The men melted under the heat of interrogation, and admitted to attempting to spread the butter across Norway at a massive profit according to the report by The Local.
Since it is Christmas, and our interns are notoriously stupid, one of them brought Jeff in from the front step. Yes, he is still here, even though it is now December, and the World did not end in October as predicted. Since he was there anyway, eating an overpriced sandwich, we asked him for his general opinion on butter. Before turning his back on us he said “overrated” – which is good, because to maximise profit in the sandwiches we use margarine.
Hoping for something more insightful we foolishly turned to the fanpage.
Eden said: “Everything’s better with butter. Even if it doesn’t talk to you like the fake stuff does.”
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