Lottery Winner Won’t Quit Day Job

Despite winning a $700,000 lump sum from a Monopoly scratch card, a twenty-one-year-old waitress has told lottery officials that she will not quit her day job.  Alexandra Chaar works as a waitress in a Mexican restaurant in Florida, a job which she loves.  She will be saving her winnings to pay for college, and continue to wait tables in the meanwhile.

Read more here.

 

Church Adverts Banned for “False Advertising”

A Christian group in Bradford upon Avon have been banned from handing out flyers and advertising on their website that “God can heal”.  According to the Advertising Standards Commission the claims were misleading and gave “false hope”.  We may do some investigation this week into whether anyone has actually grown a pair of wings and flown away after drinking Red Bull, as we always presumed that the slogan “Red Bull Gives You Wiiings” was a metaphor for the energy it gave you, but are now not so sure…

Read the full story here.

 

“1 Million Moms” Can Be Wrong

When American department store J C Penny announced its new spokesperson was the talk show host Ellen DeGeneres it was met with cries of disapproval from a Right Wing group.  “One Million Moms” called for her to be sacked on the grounds that they found her openly gay lifestyle offensive.  If, as the group claimed J C Penny’s “traditional” shoppers would find the new spokesperson offensive “and choose not to shop there” then surely their campaign would be unnecessary as the lost custom would speak for itself.  However, in true “whoever shouts the loudest must be right” fashion they decided to make a fuss about it anyway.  Apparently, three million television viewers can shout louder than “One Million Moms” so Ellen stays.  If we weren’t a totally unbiased news reporting organisation we might say something like “yey for J C Penny for standing up to bigotry” but as it is, we just report the news.

Read more here.

And see Ellen having her arse kicked by Michelle Obama at a press up competition below. Tenuous links are us.

 

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