Film Review: A Monster in Paris

Well, today I went to see a film, so I thought I’d share my thoughts with you.  This seemed to me to be a rather clever take on the story

This monster was drawn by Badger, and is not related to the film.

of King Kong.  In a freak accident a flea gets blown up to 7ft tall and terrorises Paris.  As it turns out, its gargantuan height is the only thing scary about it, and when it is taken in by a lounge singer it is discovered that this flea has a unique musical talent.  Add in some cunning disguises and an ambitious police chief who thinks that killing the flea will be the best way to advance his career.  Thus the way begins for animated high jinks, with a rather good soundtrack and a feel good story this is one for all the family.

However, if you wish to enjoy this film to its full potential, can I recommend that you do not go to view it during half term.   I like to patronise small local cinemas as I think it’s important to support small businesses.  This is a mini-adventure in itself.  One enters the cinema through a fire door which seems programmed to ping back shut after three seconds of being open for fear of a flame escaping.  This means that a less agile person than myself could be struck firmly in the rear upon entering.  Once the initial gauntlet has been crossed one is then faced with a mountain of stairs that seem never to end.  The fact that small children were running eagerly up and down this steep gradient should have been the first warning light.  However, I had already made it to the top of the stairs and was meeting a friend so soldiered on regardless.  Having purchased our tickets and scaled the mountain that was before us purchasing a drink seemed to be the next plausible step.  If you think about it, it was quite a cunning move on the part of the small business owner to situating the cinema at the peak of what must be an inner city mountain.  By the time patrons have reached the summit they will inevitably need to purchase the beverages that are served in paper cups with plastic lids.  The beverage counter was clearly doing a roaring trade with a cluster of parentless children counting out coins in an attempt to raise the £3 required for a Coke.

Rather than waiting for the coin count to reach its climax I decided to avail myself of the facilities, which was interesting.  For those less svelte than me the toilets in this cinema could have proved a challenge.  The doors opened inwards, presumably because the space between cubicle and wall.  The cubicles themselves were quite wide enough to comfortably fit a grey hound dog.  Fortunately people often compare my figure to that of a racing hound, so once I had managed to wedge myself against the wall and squeezed the door past me I was in.

For the most part the children in the cinema were remarkably well behaved, apart from the one who was “still hungry” despite the countless times its hapless parent went to the concessions stand.  The only issue with the gaggles of children was that they all seemed to have bladders the size of peas.  They needed to go to the toilet in shifts with their respective parents.  Thus, the bottom half of the screen was permanently obscured by miniature bobbing heads trotting back and forth throughout the course of the film.

What I managed to see of the film was very enjoyable, and I would recommend, perhaps on a school day, or DVD…

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