Well, as you know, here at Newsnibbles we pride ourselves on taking the most obscure news stories we can find and mocking them until they have very low self esteem. Today’s story is about a dog, because we know you like dogs. And as a little interactive task we would like you to count the number of times you roll your eyes and say “really?” in a sarcastic/disbelieving way as you read. You can then either add your number as a comment below, or post it on the Facebook page or Tweet Badger and we will update this page as we receive them.
So, as most pet owners know, dogs like to show dominance by mounting one another. A male dog will mount another male dog to show its macho superiority, especially if the underdog (see what we did there?) has been neutered. They give off a different scent apparently. So, why are we stating the obvious? Well, a man in Tennessee (yeah, it’s America again – find us some random local news and we’ll cover it) took his dog to a high kill shelter because he suspected that this behaviour made his dog gay. That’s right, he didn’t want no gay dog in his house – or something like that.
The shelter shared the story of the dog’s predicament he quickly found a new owner, which is nice, but it doesn’t end there, oh no.
A leader of a Catholic group got a hold of this story and decided that it was a clear case of anti-straight discrimination. That’s right people, ANTI STRAIGHT discrimination. Because straight people are so oppressed: called names like “straighty”, spat on or threatened for holding hands in public, not allowed to marry without a license, or drink until they’re old enough. It’s about time someone called the world on this anti-straight discrimination that we all just close our eyes to.
According to the report in the Gay Star News a news release distributed by the group entitled “Euthanizing Gay Dogs” (really) claimed that “Had poor Elton not been identified as a homosexual, his heterosexuality would not have been enough to save his hide.” It went on to conclude “The moral of the story is being gay is not only a bonus for humans these days, it is a definite plus for dogs as well. As for straights, the lonely and the disabled, that’s another story altogether.”
We don’t know what that other story is, as we were quite happy to accept that the reporter from the Gay Star News had already picked out the most interesting bits from the newsletter, and since the interns had gone home and Badger could not be arsed to do any research we will just assume that the rest of the bulletin read in much the same way.
Whilst it could be suggested that it was anti gay discrimination that got the poor pup sent to the shelter in the first place, it was in fact his timely adoption (before the time allocated for euthanasia) that saved his life. We do not know whether in fact his new owner called the shelter and said “I want me a gay dog. You got any of them there gay dogs in your shelter? Cos Ima want me one of them.” – in which case it was possibly anti straight, but we’d prefer not to speculate.
We asked our canine correspondent, Annie if she had ever been discriminated against because she’s a straight dog:
@badgerstweettoo No! I was in a foster home, but all da offur doggies I was stayin wif was very respektful!!
— Annie Butler (@AnnieBBarks) February 5, 2013
So, Badger’s “really” total was 6. What’s yours?