News in brief…

…otherwise known as a sarcastic tabloid roundup…

So, you may have noticed that the death of a small child by drowning turned the “migrant crisis” into human, refugees who require help and our fearless leader has agreed to take a couple in, as long as they don’t cost too much.  In the meanwhile whilst he is discussing with Europe the practicalities of how best to take them, whilst trying not to sound like a selfish tosser with a plum in his throat, refugees are still piling into Hungary at an alarming rate, according to news reports.  The Hungarian government in all their wisdom decided the best course of action here was to arrest anyone illegally entering the country and put them in jail for three years, so they are giving them a roof and shelter for much longer than they would placing them in camps and helping them move to a country they actually want to be in.  Go figure.

After much excitement and buzz the Labour Party has a new leader, who, shock horror is actually left wing!  What are we going to do now all of the parties aren’t right, righter and REALLY right?  Despite telling all their readers to join the party and vote for Corbyn, in an attempt to make a mockery of the democratic process (rather like the moving of the boundaries in the general election?!) the evil tabloid army are now properly wetting their knickers that their ability to control the working classes will be threatened by a genuine left winger.  As a result they have launched a series of attacks on the new leader, from posting pictures of him wearing socks with shorts (the absolute horror of it all), and the fact that he stood in respectful silence during the national anthem rather than singing along.  You don’t notice them kick off when football and rugby players don’t join in at the beginning of internationals do you?  When they publish headlines like he will destroy the country in ten years they are scared, and it’s about time!!

Even the left wing press are up in arms about something, The Guardian  have criticised a lack of women in his new shadow cabinet.  Being the intrepid news reporting site that we are here at Newsnibbles, however, we have found a lady-woman-female in his cabinet of raging lefties, and guess what, she likes badgers!

According to The Spectator  the new Shadow DEFRA secretary, Kerry McCarthy is a vegan, vice president of The League Against Cruel Sports and against the badger cull! Badgers stand a chance, hurrah!

Of course, Brian May and his Save Me trust are still campaigning for badgers, most recently threatening the cull with high court action.

In entertainment news, Sandra Bullock and George Clooney are taking on Hollywood sexism head on, with Bullock taking on a role originally intended for Clooney.  According to The Washington Post it was an easy rewrite to switch gender roles, and demonstrates that there could be a lot more films with a female lead.  We think the trailer looks fab, so check it out.

Share Button

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Solve : *
27 − 15 =