A recent rise in demand for Avocados has led to a rise in Avocado related crime in New Zealand. According to The Guardian, until recently the demand for avocados has been more from the export market (hipsters who enjoy it on toast with some salt and pepper and a splash of extra virgin, one presumes), and the rise in local demand has lead to an avocado black market (ABM). The report goes on to quote the New Zealand Avocado CEO (one assumes this is a company and not the person in charge of the one random avocado, we’ll go off and research and let you know) as saying:
It’s an easy way to make a quick buck, but I don’t think we are dealing with a sophisticated or highly organised operation here, more opportunistic. This stolen fruit will only have made it to the local markets, it would never reach our export markets.”
Apparently thieves are picking avocados straight out of trees in the dead of night, forcing avocado growers to take extreme measures, such as install security lights. We would also like to suggest bells on branches so that any covert attempts to shake down avocados will be ruined.
Whilst hopes that a new bumper crop of avocado due soon is thought to be all that is required to meet demand and scupper the thieves, we here at Newsnibbles fear that this is only the beginning, Avocadogate, if you will, leading to a terrifying Avocado Cartel taking control of the New Zealand underworld. What’s next, the honey?
Celebrity Chef and Avocado aficionado, Tallulah Grace had this to say on the subject of stolen avocados:
Avocado theft deserves serious retribution darling. To discover one can’t make guacamole may induce fever and perhaps death.”
And that man what writes the Hollywood tag lines about cats and such, Richard Goldman said:
stealing avocados is the pits”
Then he became a bit overexcited and added:
Once there were green thieves parched by the Thun.”
See, we quote people like with real news, we know it’s been a while. We will keep you apprised of any further avocado related incidents, as and when they occur. If you live in New Zealand, and have been directly affected by the avocado crime spree, we would love to hear from you. Please post a comment below.
