This week’s 7 Questions is with a visitor to Earth Lex Kepler, who is currently in America studying human interactions. We can only assume that she did not come in via any airport, and didn’t come the the UK because of impending “issues” with freedom of movement. No aliens for us. Thanks Nige.
1. So, erm, not only did you choose to study humans, but you chose to study Americans??? How’s that going?
We didn’t choose our assigned locations. The captain chose them for us. Different teams cover different countries. I think the captain chose America for us because she wanted someone to study Neil deGrasse Tyson. She wanted Beeblebop to infiltrate the Google headquarters as a programmer. Plus Xalax wanted to get a job as a zombie extra on the set of The Walking Dead. Xalax is made from the admiral’s genetic material, so he usually gets his way, but of course, in this incident, the captain assigned him to something more serious. Nepotism is the only reason he’s on this mission. I thought the captain was going to send me to study the United State’s NASA program, but she gave that assignment to Xalax instead. But I’m not bitter.My study of Americans is going quite well. The captain has me infiltrating a college in Los Angeles called UCLA. It’s basically my cover in case anyone gets nosy. Strangely enough, the captain wants me to study human relationships. At first, I found it perplexing because I’m a physicist and cosmologist. Xalax is the anthropologist/sociologist of our team. But then the captain explained to me that my mission wasn’t your typical sociological study of the planet’s inhabitants. In fact, I could find out information that is extremely important to the survival of my race.Americans are fascinating. They are in many ways highly optimistic, but they do have many inexplicable behaviors, as well. I am very much looking forward to learning more about them.
2. Do you have pets on your home world, and if so, do you dress them in nicely coordinated outfits?
That is quite a human thing. Kreyatons pride themselves on being a logical, efficient, productive, and work oriented people. We pride ourselves on our scientific knowledge and technological advancements. We like to study other life forms because we learn something new from doing so. We put so much focus on our work and accomplishments that we don’t put much emphasis on relationships, including relationships with animals. I am intrigued how humans find these things important. It is quite fascinating. The humans I am currently studying have viewed my interactions with them as a friendship. At first I found it kind of odd and unnerving, but now I’m strangely enjoying this thing called friendship. I’m not sure if it will lead me to having animal friends. I am still getting used to friendships with humans. Many humans want me to have a pet, and I’ve been told it is a human custom, and if I want the true human experience, I should try it. We’ll see. I make no promises.
3. Can you digest the same sort of food as humans? How you coping with coffee?
Yes, Kreyatons are biologically similar to humans which is why we didn’t really need to drastically alter our appearances, just our ears a bit. I had them surgically altered before arriving to Earth. Otherwise, I don’t think I look that much different. I do enjoy coffee, and I love to mix mine with ketchup. People seem to find this odd. I don’t really know why. I also have an affinity for chocolate sprinkles. I find they taste best in sandwiches.
4. Have you encountered a badger yet?
I have not encountered a badger. But I have heard from multiple humans that some species of badger, and I quote, “Don’t give a s***.”
5. What do you hope to achieve from your study?
My assignment is to study human relationships, and if there is any connection between those relationships and the fact that the human population has no problem repopulating itself. Such information is critical to the continuation of my species, whose population is rapidly declining due to a low success rate in the reproduction of the next generation of Kreyatons.
6. What do you think of social media?
It is very curious. I have enjoyed connecting with other human beings on various social media platforms, because it has assisted me with my studies. At the same time, there is an alarming rate of irrational thought that occurs via social media, and I am not so certain this is beneficial for humanity.
7. If Earth could improve on one thing, what would it be?
I would say that human beings have an enormous capacity for compassion, but I wish it were applied more thoroughly. Speaking of social media, there was a quote from a fictional Star Trek character named Captain Picard that I thought sent a good message about what to strive for in the future. He stated, “The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity.”