Author: Newsvamp

What Will Bee Will Bee

Dear Bee, I’ve been getting very dirty of late. I just seem to pick up smut everywhere. I’ve tried scrubbing and polishing myself, but I just can’t seem to get clean. Do you have any tips for removing dirty stains that won’t fade my hue? Moomin     Mr. (or

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Caught Short Part 3: The Plot Thickens

Scene:  The Heroes are in the entrance hall of Newsnibbles offices.  They are incognito.  All look like regular people, apart from The Pink Fairy, who is wearing a pink ball gown with bright pink DMs.   The Urinater: I can’t go up there.   Germ Girl: Why not? Don’t you

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Recipe 4: Cereal and Milk

You will need: Cereal of your choosing Milk (a soya based milk substitute could be used) A bowl (another non-porous container could be used in the absence of a bowl, but for best results a bowl is recommended). A spoon Process: Pour required quantity of cereal into the bowl (be

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Hot Dog Them’s Some Cold Feet

Yes, just when you thought our headlines could not get any more special we come up with a corker like that.  Have you ever wondered how dogs are able to walk in the snow with no shoes?  Or how a dog’s body regulates heat?  If the answer to these questions

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Newsvamp’s Poetry Quiz

This week, knowing how cultured you all are I have come up with a poetry quiz.  Let’s see how you get on.         And congratulations to last week’s winner, Loops, who not only correctly told us that the next number in the sequence was 8 – but

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Nibblets

Britain’s Most Under the Thumb Man Revealed According to The Daily Mail twenty-five-year-old Mike Jeffries is Britain’s most henpecked man.  In the report it states that Mr. Jeffries is expected to use the toilet sitting down so as not to annoy his spouse when she uses it.  If he spends

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What Will Bee Will Bee

Dear Bee, I am writing because I understand you have a great deal of experience in affairs of the heart and I’m hoping that you can help me with my problem.  For some time now I have been conducting a flirtation with a shark.  I dismissed his disinterest as simply

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Caught Short Part 2: Taking The Cake

If you missed Caught Short Part 1 you can read it now by clicking here. There is an explosion and the door to the heroes top secret HQ is gone.  Enter The Chicken Tickler and Dragon Fly hovering on a board behind her.   The Chicken Tickler: Ha! At last

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Recipe 3: Toast

You will need: Bread A bread knife if your bread does not come pre sliced A butter knife or other spreading implement Butter A toaster (If you do not have a toaster you could use a grill) Other topping (optional)                 Steps: Slice

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You Will Be Assimilated!

For those of you who thought that ants are nothing like The Borg, think again.  Scientists have discovered that ants share a collective memory within a colony that allows any member of that colony to recognise an enemy from another ant’s experience. The scientists likened the sense to football fans

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