How To Boil Water Safely

So, to recap, Badger discovered Feathers and Toast – the best thing on Youtube.  She wrote a review, and Twitter stalked Tallulah into doing a Newsnibbles interview – never underestimate the power of social media, or a persistent badger.  You may remember that we also opened up the questions to you at home, and had a whole one response, which was very exciting.  You may recall that,

Judith from Bristol asked:

“When I boil water it gets incredibly hot, to the point that it is a health and safety concern. What am I doing wrong?”

Well, Tallulah has addressed the issue in her latest Vlog (it’s like a blog, but it’s a video, so it’s a Vlog. That’s really a thing, we didn’t make it up).

We hope you all find this video instructive and that it answers your questions.  Judith herself was so excited by the fact that a real internet celebrity had answered her question she immediately followed the advice in the film and submitted the following picture to the newsdask.

She also had a follow up question, which we submitted to Tallulah, which was:

Now that I am confident boiling water, should I leave my ice lollies frozen, or boil them?

And Tallulah responded as follows:

Oh darling. Well a reasonable question to be honest. I would say try both and see what you prefer. It’s a matter of taste when it comes to the ice lolly and no woman should be ridiculed for wanting it her way. May even like to try roasting them and see what you think of that one.

As always Tallulah’s magnanimous nature is an inspiration to us all. And if you are now weeping that you did not take the opportunity to ask your own question, fear not.  You can tweet her or comment on her Youtube. Or if you are too star struck you can email us and we will pass it on for you.

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Badger Meets Tallulah Grace…

…and it’s fabulous!

You may remember that last month we Meme_S1E5_7discovered the fantastically funny Feather and Toast, and as a result badger was moved from her lethargy enough to write a review.  Well, after some negotiations we have managed to score an interview with celebrity chef and humanitarian Tallulah Grace!  We hope you enjoy it.

What is the connection between fashion and food?

One should be inspired by ones sandwich darling. As is commonly accepted, one feasts with the eyes before the mouth and therefore if one is faced with a dreary looking limp sandwich one runs the very real risk of turning ones stomach. Just as one should not be slapdash with ones attire, one should take a moment to snip a sprig of basil for ones scrambled eggs for example. Because you, at the end of the day, deserve it. Fashion and food go hand in hand as both are vital to ones life, at the end of the day.

Not everyone will have saved a life using a sandwich, how would you suggest those people find inner fulfilment?

Very true darling, in fact I would go as far to say that I am indeed the only person in the world to have saved a life with a sandwich. Unless of course there is someone somewhere hiding their life saving sandwich light under a bush. Inner fulfilment can be found in a myriad of ways, but it all starts with self-love, a decent meal and I would hasten to add a mime or two in the kitchen. One should remain nimble and lithe when handling life. If one is rigid, one risks breaking altogether and that, at the end of the day, is never a good look.

Meme_S1E6_9-300x300What is the key to a successful sandwich?

The key to the successful sandwich is knowing where one is going with it. Ingredients can cause sleep inducing qualities, energy or confidence so one needs to have an idea of what they’re after before they simply dive in with a knife and a couple of slices of bread. I would also suggest that a soggy sandwich will get you nowhere fast so try to keep ones bread dry if at all possible.

How do you stay grounded living with the adoration of thousands of fans?

Very good questions. Luckily I have my guru on speed dial and am not alone in keeping my feet firmly on the ground. I have a team of experts and I do at the end of the day say one has to simply think eagle not chicken and see the bigger grander picture then all seems to be calm once more. Thing is not to get carried away. I do read about Mother Teresa and Chanel and such to get tips from the top on how to handle success.

Describe your ultimate sandwich.

My ultimate sandwich would be a tuna melt darling. It reminds me of my parents house in the far north Scottish highlands, huddled around the fire without too much mayo (please see note on soggy sandwich avoidance)  A veritable hug in a sandwich.

What do you do when you aren’t in the kitchen?

When I’m not in the kitchen working up a storm of new recipe ideas and such I have a very full schedule. I am constantly working towards my Nobel Peace Prize so am looking for further ways to expand my mission. A lot of time, as one can imagine, is taken up with answering fan mail and talking people off cliffs and such.

Would you say that all chefs would Feathers and Toast Posterbenefit from classical mime training?

Yes classical mime training is as rudimentary to the modern chef as knowing what a bain marie is and how to squeeze an orange. Keeping nimble and being able to duck and dive around la cuisine is extremely necessary in today’s fast moving world.

If, hypothetically speaking, someone were constantly having their Zen shattered by circumstances beyond their control, and/or the behaviour of others, what would you recommend they do to restore it?

It always comes back to the eagle darling. Think higher road not down in the muck pecking with a non-stop moving head. Clucking gets you nowhere fast and you risk never being able to fly.

And from the fans (we had one response, which is 100% increase on the last time we tried to involve them).

Judith from Bristol would like to know:

“When I boil water it gets incredibly hot, to the point that it is a health and safety concern. What am I doing wrong?”

Love the question from Judith and will answer that in a vlog, thank you!

How exciting, Nibblers, you see, there are rewards to taking part, maybe you should try it…

And as with most celebrities you can find Tallulah all over the internet:

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Recipe 4: Cereal and Milk

You will need:

  • Cereal of your choosing
  • Milk (a soya based milk substitute could be used)
  • A bowl (another non-porous container could be used in the absence of a bowl, but for best results a bowl is recommended).
  • A spoon

Process:

  • Pour required quantity of cereal into the bowl (be careful not to overfill the bowl at this point as you will still need to add the milk).
  • Add milk to cover cereal.
  • Eat and enjoy.
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Recipe 3: Toast

You will need:

  • Bread
  • A bread knife if your bread does not come pre sliced
  • A butter knife or other spreading implement
  • Butter
  • A toaster (If you do not have a toaster you could use a grill)
  • Other topping (optional)

 

Here are the ingredients. We have chosen cheese triangles as our aditional spread but you could use jam or any other type of spread.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steps:

  1. Slice your bread to the required width.  Remember that if you are using a toaster the bread must be narrow enough to fit in the slots.  If

    Note, the appearance of your toast may vary from this depending on your choice of bread and spread.

    your bread comes pre sliced you can omit step one.

  2. Insert bread into toaster.
  3. Push down handle on toaster
  4. When bread pops out toasted place it onto a bread board.  Be careful, it will now be hotter than when you put it in.
  5. Using your spreading implement, spread butter onto the hot toast
  6. Add additional spread if required
  7. Eat and enjoy

NB. If you are using a grill rather than a toaster you will have to place the bread under the grill.  When the bread has browned sufficiently on one side you will need to turn it to brown the other side.  All other steps are the same.  If you are unsure how to operate your grill then see the manufacturer’s guidelines.

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Recipe Two: Orange Juice

Well, regular readers of Newsnibbles may have noticed that recipe corner consisted of one recipe before it petered out into obscurity.  Well it’s back, with a new chef and an exciting new twist on recipes.  We hope that our new Recipe Corner will prove popular with you, the fans.  If you try the recipe we would love your feedback, why not pop a comment below?

 

Serves one

Carefully research juice selling emporia in your area.  This can be done via the medium of a library (a place that lends out books on a variety of subjects).  This is a rather important step so don’t stint on this.  My original research stretched from 1983 until yesterday.  Its difficulty was somewhat compounded by my moving from one country to another, meaning that I had to start again from scratch, first researching libraries and then moving on to the subject at hand.
Once your research has been completed, proceed in an orderly manner to your emporium of choice.  Be sure to do this on a day and time when the emporium is open (if you have done your research properly, this will not be problematic).  Once inside, move carefully towards the juice area (juiceatorium if one is to be “proper”).  Select your juice with your eyes and hands.  Pay close attention to the size of the containing receptacle as this will have to fit inside some kind of cooling chamber in your abode.  If you do not have a cooling chamber go home immediately and begin researching the purchase of one.  These can be researched in a library.  Not the same library as your juice research.  It is VITALLY IMPORTANT that you do this research in a different library so as to avoid influence from the staff.  Library staff at a library that you have done juice research in are notorious* for making recommendations based solely on personal preference and not empirical fact.
Upon selecting your juice RUN**  to the cash register and pay for it.  If you can possibly have correct change ready to expedite this then do.  The sooner your chosen juice is put into your home cooling chamber, the more of the essential oils and flavourings will be preserved.
Once you have returned to your abode by the quickest route (GPS units are helpful and can be researched at the same library as the cooling chambers).  Quickly bring your beverage (in it’s manufacturer’s receptacle) down to the recommended temperature (refer to the chart posted in your local Department of Juice and Construction Accoutrements.
At this point make an eight ounce container from wood*** (I prefer teak but you can use any rare hardwood).  This will be your “Drinking Vessel” or DV.  If you have no access to a lumber yard you may in special circumstances borrow a glass from your neighbour but be careful to inspect it for food particles.  Not everyone these days is clean.
Pour the juice into the DV.  This will need some practice and also requires that you are able to open the original receptacle.  As there are many different kinds you may want to build some mockups from 1/32nd cm balsa which can be bought in sheets from balsawoodsheetsfororangejuicecartonmockups.net.****  Raise the DV to your lips and gently but firmly consume.
IMPORTANT: Immediately following this run into your front garden and yell at the top pf your lungs “You’ll never take me alive!!!” This will ensure that none of your neighbours will come to your door wanting to borrow “a cup of juice for my parrot”
Enjoy.
Recipe   Two: Orange Juice is courtesy of Chef Arthur Scurf
*Based on the chef’s personal experiences.
**Only run if there are no obstructions in your way and you are physically capable of doing so.  Running is a personal choice and Newsnibbles is not responsible of any injuries related to running whilst carrying juice.  If in doubt carefully walk.  Running should only be undertaken by experts such as Chef Scurf.
***It is possible to purchase drinking glasses from your local drinking glass retailer if you are not creatively inclined.  Proper research can be done in any of the aforementioned libraries.
****Website last accessed by the chef in 1984.
NB. It is possible to repeat all the steps above with a different flavour of juice if you prefer it to orange.
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Recipe One: Bread and Butter

Recipe corner is a new edition to Newsnibbles.  Graham has found us a top Chef: Jean Claude Maître de la Cuisine who will be providing us with weekly recipes.

 

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