Graham’s Word Search

Graham assures us that all serious news reporting sites have puzzles.  As such he created this nifty word search.  He has classified it as medium, and has estimated that it will take the average reader no more than an hour.  As an incentive to persevere we are offering a signed picture of Milly the Wonder Dog as a prize to the first correct answer to be pulled out of a hat*.  Good luck.

*Terms and conditions.  Entries must be submitted by 5pm GMT 02/05/2011.  The organisers reserve the right to replace the prize with one of equal value (0.01p) and winners will be announced in next week’s edition.

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Say Cheese!

Unless you are into your cheese in a big way then you might not even realise there was a National Cheese Awards.  If you are cheese savvy enough to be aware of the awards themselves, it might still be news to you that this year there is a competition to make cheese fashion at The Royal Bath and West Showground.

Fear not though, here at Newsnibbleswe have our ear to the ground and will keep you informed about any developments, no matter how cheesy.

The competition has strict rules.  Competitors must make their offerings out of “cheese, or associated items”. We presume these include cows, sheep, any dairy products (excluding eggs), the moon etc.  In point of fact, the list is whey too extensive to continue here.  If you are thinking of entering, then you would be better off contacting the organisers for a comprehensive list of rules.

Students from Bath Spa University have played with the idea of Jimmy Choo shoes, to produce “Jimmy Cheese”.  These trendy, yet edible editions to your feet will be a good way of explaining away embarrassing foot odour.

Not to be outdone by students, Graham, our man on the ground has provided us with a picture of his design (see image).  The latest in Canine head wear, entitled Camembert-Wear was actually designed for Milly to wear to “The Wedding”.

“I hand Krafted it and it turned out to be very popular.” He tells us.  “She was dogged by the press all day.”  Graham was going to enter his creation in this year’s Cheese Awards but unfortunately Milly was made nervous by all the press attention and stress-ate her hat.  Nonetheless, we are pleased to have a picture of it to display his talents to the full.

Potential entrants will be relieved not to be up against such professional Kraftsmenship.  Milly offered this by way of a comment:

“Woof.”

So, if cheese is your thing, or you think that it may conceal your cheesy odour, check out the latest in edible fashion at this year’s National Cheese Awards. The fashion show runs from the 1st to the 6th of June at the Bath and West Showground near Shepton Mallet.

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Another Good Reason Not to Exercise

In local news this week we see that West London Council has introduced a £350 tax for fitness instructors to use any number of parks and open spaces within the council’s remit.

 

This controversial decision has caused mixed feelings amongst park users who question the practicalities of enforcing such a fee.  One person told the BBC:

“If people are running around, I really can’t see how the council can install a tax like that.  How many people will say they are friends rather than personal trainers?”

The Conservative Council perhaps unsurprisingly defended its decision to impose the tax telling the BBC:

“Taxpayers do not expect businesses who are trying to make money out of our parks to get a free ride on the back of their taxes and these businesses do need to pay for the necessary licence. This is about ensuring residents using the park are safe, as there are issues surrounding insurance and liability should anyone be injured, and also the parks have to be maintained.  If trainers were to hire space elsewhere in a club, for example, they would spend much more than if they bought a licence.”*

As a fully neutral, (totally unsarcastic) news-reporting blog, here at Newsbites we felt unqualified to form any opinion on this cunning money making scheme.  Therefore, in order to offer you, the reader a fully rounded view we turned to Graham, our man on the ground, always happy to give us an opinion on any subject.

Graham scratched his head contemplatively before coming up with this offering on the subject:

“I think the National Rivers Authority want a cut, due to the grass being watered by rain, which has come from water vapour that has risen, cooled, etc… some of which has come from rivers!  It has put me off exercise for life, and photography… might be charged for taking pictures of the trees… If I exercise Milly in a park will she have to pay too?”

We presume Milly is his dog… but think he is kept entirely more interesting the less we know about him, so do not ask.

An opposing view from one member of the public we asked was:

“Well, I can’t see the harm.  The council gets money, the trainers raise their fees and they get money.  It’s win, win.  Does anyone actually lose?”

Well, we did a bit of investigative reporting into how much it would cost to buy a field in and around London.  You can purchase a six acre woodland in Kent for £45,000.  So, if 129 personal trainers wanted to get together and make a one off payment of £350, instead of an annual one they could purchase their very own six acre wood to train in.  Alternatively, an extremely antisocial fitness instructor could pay off their own field for 129 years, and feel like they were investing rather than being taxed.

In the mean while, however, anyone hoping to use the parks of West London for anything other than recreation had better have their licences ready to flash the park patrol.

BBC article available here:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-13195576

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Wow, Gorillas!

If you go down to Bristol City Centre next summer you’re sure of a big surprise.  A series of five foot gorilla sculptures are set to be appearing around the city as part of Bristol Zoo’s 175th birthday celebration.

Left to right: Charles, Dr Bryan Carroll, Steven

The white gorilla sculptures are being sponsored by different businesses, charities and schools who will then get to decorate them before having them displayed across the city.  The event, called Wow Gorillas, is not only a fun and different way for the zoo to mark its birthday and raise funds, but also aims to raise awareness of gorilla conservation projects around the world.

Dr Bryan Carroll, Director of Bristol Zoo Gardens, (pictured between two gorilla sculptures) said in a press release: “We want our birthday year to be a city-wide celebration of all that is great about Bristol and its people.  Our exciting Wow! Gorillas project will showcase the creativity of Bristol while attracting visitors to the city thus stimulating the local economy, and will be the highlight of the year. We hope the colourful sculptures will be enjoyed by thousands of Bristolians and visitors to the city.  As well as being great fun, these gorillas will help convey vital messages about the extinction crisis facing gorillas and the other apes in the wild, and will help support our work to save gorillas and other apes in Cameroon.”

Wild apes, including gorillas are under the constant threat of hunting, disease, and deforestation.  When the Wow! Gorillas display is finished, the decorated gorillas will go up for auction, proceeds going to a local  charity, as well as raising funds for a gorilla conservation project.

Lucy Parkinson, PR Manager for Bristol Zoo told us:

“We have received a great deal of interest from local businesses interested in sponsoring our ‘Wow! Gorilla’ sculptures. They recognise the benefits and returns they will get from being involved in this exciting city-wide project. Since the project launched eight days ago we have received payment from sponsors for four gorillas, and have had a verbal commitment from several other organisations. Dozens more businesses and charities are very interested and we are keen to take this project forward with them, and any other organisations interested in getting involved.”

For more information about Bristol Zoo’s Wow! Gorillas project and on how to sponsor a gorilla please visit www.wowgorilla.org.uk.  As always we will keep you informed as to how the project is progressing, and hopefully show you some of the weird and wonderful designs popping up around the city.

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