Post-mortem results for a group of birds who were discovered dead in a primary school playground in Cumbria this week have
revealed some disturbing revelations. Not victims of fowl play, as was originally suspected, the birds were actually discovered to have high alcohol levels in their blood.
Binge drinking on fermented berries seem to be the culprit of the birds untimely deaths, but they did not die of alcohol poisoning. Instead, the effect of alcohol caused them to lose their ability to fly in a straight line, bang into things and injured themselves, dropping from the sky like flies, or, erm, drunken birds.
There has yet to be suggested a plan to raise drink awareness to fledglings, who, enjoying their new found freedom from the nest indulge in a few too many fermented berries and unfortunately in this case the results have been fatal. If you have any ideas do let us know.
Well we’ve all had a few too many to drink on occasion haven’t we? So we asked the fans when the last time they were drunk was, in to hope they would regale us with their amusing anecdotes.
Denise said: “October 12th”
Chimp said: “Now”
Pat said: “20th of October. Whilst dressed as a zombie with half my hair shaved off. As you do.”
Bee said: “I don’t recall the date, but I likely had baked goods on my head.” This was most likely after her second drink, we try to keep her to one.
Read the full story here.
See more by the beautiful Pat Scullion at www.patscullion.co.uk
Newsnibbles suggests that you only drink responsibly, not prior to flying or operating a vehicle or heavy machinery, and not whilst in the vicinity of baked goods. Newsnibbles is an equal opportunities website and mocks everyone equally.
