Superheroes with Style!

From the author of I Wore Heels to the Apocalypse comes the hilarious sequel.

What is better than a sarcastic talking badger? A sarcastic talking badger with superpowers, of course!

Having survived the apocalypse, Kerry is back to being a socially awkward web developer, but when apocalypse survivors start ending up dead, with her next on the list, events begin to spiral out of control. Follow Kerry as she deals with life and fashion challenges, whilst trying to save the world in this hilarious sequel to I Wore Heels to the Apocalypse.

Be a hero, #WearTheCape

There was a really positive reaction to Heels, over all,” said Clepitt when asked about her sequel.  “People loved the badger, which was to be expected, and they were all sad when he disappeared at the end. Of course spirit guides are only around as long as you need them, and since in this new story, Kerry’s life becomes a bit of a disaster, we see the triumphant return of the badger in all its sarcastic glory.”

I think it’s really important to write diverse characters,” she added.  “The world is not purely one type of person, despite what traditional canon would have us believe and it is essential that everyone is represented.  As authors we have a responsibility to write diverse characters where we can.  It is also important to write what we know, so it is equally essential that we help and encourage diverse authors, so that all perspectives are represented within a modern canon. I also don’t think we should have to add “warning labels” to our writing, you don’t warn readers that your books contain straight people, do you? No-one’s worried that it will somehow offend people. Bigotry is not a sensibility I think we need to consider.”

Everything is Better With a Cape is due for release September 3rd. Visit chclepitt.com for more information.

And of course, there’s a party on Facebook. Click “interested” to join the fun.

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UK Election 2017 – The Story So Far…

We have been steering clear of the news of late, because it is just too depressing, but we know that for some of you, Newsnibbles is the only thing you read, so we thought we’d give you the basics.

So, after saying she would not call a snap election, on April 18th, Theresa May announced a snap election for June 8th.  The aim of this was to increase the Tory majority, and and make a hard Brexit easier to achieve.

What Mrs May apparently had not considered, was the fact the 48% of the country voted to remain in Europe, the increasing popularity of Jeremy Corbyn, and the swing to the left to many of the young, who are tired of the ideological austerity imposed by the current government, which to many seems designed to make the rich richer and the poor poorer, perhaps a way to “decrease the surplus population”?  With the wealth divide at a high level, the NHS being systematically sold of to Richard Branson’s Virgin Care and NHS staff forced to use food banks, many of the country were saying enough is enough.

In the five week run up to the general election Labour closed the polling gap making it a very tight race.  Whilst pundits predicted the May would lose her majority, no-one predicted the 12 seat loss, and resulting hung parliament.  The nation had spoken, it wanted a change.

In what many see as a desperate attempt to cling to power, May has joined forces with the DUP, an Irish Unionist party, whose policies include criminalising abortion, decriminalising of LGBTQ discrimination, a return to the death penalty and the teaching of creationism in schools. That’s right, they believe the Earth is only 6000 years old.  Just let that sink in for a minute.  It is worth noting here that a number of these policies are in direct contravention of the Good Friday Agreement.   There is already a petition on Change.Org opposing the union, which to date has over 100,000 signatures.

The 10 seats they won in Northern Ireland will allow the Tories a slim majority and mean they can form a government, however, the combined numbers of The Labour Party, The SNP, The Liberal Democrats, Plaid Cymru and The Green Party form 48.3% of parliament, so if they agree to vote together it is likely that they will be able to block any reforms that a Conservative/DUP pairing attempts to pass.  UKIP has no seats, so there are no other Right Wing parties left to support this.

What Mrs May also seems to have failed to consider is the forming of this coalition was the 19 openly LGBTQ MPs within her own party, who could be her downfall if she tries to pass any DUP agenda which will negatively impact the LGBTQ community.  If fact, this election saw a record number of LGBTQ MPs elected, as well as a record number of female MPs, which seems to demonstrate that the majority of Britons are opposed to what could be called the backward facing policies of the DUP.

In an election that seems to have been fought on Social Media as much as anywhere else, it is not surprising that people have taken to Twitter to voice their opposition to this union.

It is difficult to say how things will play out. With so much public opposition it would be reasonable to hope that the coalition would be reconsidered, but then, 84% of the population oppose fox hunting, and she still wants to bring that back.

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Monday Mystery Mime

What do you mean, we’re late? Maybe you’re late? Ever think of that?  So, you know the drill.  Every week the amazing folks at Feathers and Toast perform a mystery mime.  All you have to do is guess what it is for a chance to have the mime of your choosing performed by Tallulah herself.  We won’t make it complicated, just post your answer in the comments. Go on, have a go.  A Nibbler won the other week, and we have posted their mime below.

Last week’s mime was a lollypop melting. No-one guessed it, so have a go this time, you never know.

Now, without further ado, the mystery…

And just to prove it really does happen, Judith requested an elephant being washed, and below is said mime. It is incredibly realistic, you can almost see the trunk.

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Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, when the extremely talented team behind Feathers and Toast perform a mime for your guessing pleasure.  Get it right, and the mime of your choice will be performed by Tallulah herself.  Entries close midnight Friday and the winners will be announced next week.

And congratulations to last week’s winners, Judith Evans, Paul Uhler and Joe Pranaitis, who all correctly guessed “Spring Chicken”.

So, without further a do, here’s the mime.

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Calls for Fearless Girl to Remain on Wall Street

To celebrate International Women’s Day,* a bronze statue of a little girl, hands on hips, facing down the mighty bull has appeared.  Originally only billed to remain for a week, there has been a cry for her to become permanent.  Officials have already bowed to pressure from the public and extended her stay until April 2nd, and there is a petition to make her stay permanent.

It is ironic that a statue celebrating female power was originally only billed to remain for a week, demonstrating society’s willingness to acknowledge that there is a divide, but unwillingness to make a permanent change.  The outcry from people wanting to make her a static feature is certainly a step in the right direction, although the man photographed humping the statue, shows we have a long way to go…

Upon being asked to comment on how he feels about his new neighbour, The Wall Street Bull told Newsnibbles;

I can’t even remember what it was like before she was here. She’s the yang to my yin.

If you have met the bull, you will know he is a feminist, and will be very supportive of sharing his space with this symbol of female empowerment.

 


*Yes, there is also an international men’s day, Google it before you start bitching, you should really moan that there’s no international clueless pillock’s day, because that’s your day, really, no-one cares, shut up.

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Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, when we confront you with a mystery.  Our friends at Feathers and Toast produce a weekly mystery mime, and if you are clever enough to guess correctly, the Tallulah will perform the mime of your choosing.*

No-one guessed last week’s mime, so there were no winners.  It was the red carpet being vacuumed after the event. Who even knew they did that? Ah well, better luck this week, eh?

 

*To enter go to the Youtube page where the mime originated and post your answer in the comments section. If commenting on Youtube is too complicated you can post a comment here, but Youtube comments will get priority. The winner will be chosen at random from all of the correct entries. Any obscene entries or suggestions will be disqualified and the user blocked. Newsnibbles and Feathers and Toast reserve the right to disqualify any entry they deem unsuitable, without explanation. The closing date for entries is Friday 10th March 2017, 00:00 EST.

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Pet Couture’s Gone Plus Sized!

Villagers near the Elephant Conservation and Care Centre in the city of Mathura (India) have been knitting away to create the snazzy plus sized packaderm pyjamas for abused elephants!

Original Image Posted on Independent.co.uk

 

Knitting something this size takes real dedication and it is nice to see that whilst Europe and the US seems to be spiralling into hatred and self destruction,  there is still some humanity left out there.

According to The Independentthe elephants have been rescued from abusive situations such as cruel circuses, and as such their immune systems are less prepared to deal with the near freezing temperatures, and so the villagers sprung into knitting action.

As you know, here on Newsnibbles, we are fans of pet couture, but we have yet to feature plus sized to this extent.  As we all know, big is beautiful, and we were thrilled to discover this story.  We are also thrilled to learn we have quite the following in India (clearly a country with intelligence and taste), so, if you have pictures of elephants in outfits, we would love to see them, please share them with us on Facebook.

Wildlife SOS India does a fantastic job rescuing abused animals, and as well as elephants they rescue dancing bears, leopards and more.  Follow their blog to find out more about what they do and how you can help.

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Newsnibbles 2016 Review

Well, we can all agree that 2016 has been pretty shitty for world politics, Angelika'sMeme (1)celebrity deaths and way too much media focus on hate and negativity. That’s why we thought we’d round up 2016, as experienced on Newsnibbles instead.  Hopefully this will focus us on some positivity and bring us forward to the new year.

We have spent the year expanding our coverage, so now, as well as satirical news a large portion of our site is dedicated to interviews and reviews, as well as a new “Mystery Mime” section.  We have started #MemeMonday (it was already a thing, but we are now taking part), where we post a Meme on our Facebook and Twitter every Monday.  Follow us there so you don’t miss out.

As a part of our expansion we have formed new partnerships with some awesome people, including Angelika Rust, who helps us with #MemeMonday, Samuel Z Jones, who goes off sword fighting Orcs, then writes about it for us, the fabulous Feathers and Toast who provide us with our weekly mystery mime.

Meme_S1E6_9-300x300We have met and interviewed some fantastically creative people, and found out who likes pet couture, and who simply aren’t our kind of people… We have covered things that not many news outlets have, including the FiSahara Film Festival and the Standing Rock Pipeline Protests, and Badger did a couple of grumpy OpEds, getting back on form.

2016 also saw the release of Badger’s latest book, I Wore Heels to the Apocalypse, which has had a very positive response from readers and critics 13052714_10153381404221744_674843882_oalike.  We had an online launch party, which was supported by lots of our creative friends, including Samuel Z Jones, Monica Chereches, Chloe Hammond, Heaton Wilson, Mhairi Morrison, Neil Jeffreys and many more.  This was followed by an actual physical event where Badger had to leave the sett, and this was supported by Playwright and Dramaturg Amy Bethan Evans, fantasy novelist Samuel Z Jones (who also left his cave) and featured music from Jazzy Heath.  If you haven’t heard of these guys you should check them out, they produce some pretty cool stuff.  Thanks to everyone who came and supported the event and made it such a success, we’ll be aiming to release the sequel in 2017.

This is the Newsnibbles official Chicken, made a bit festive.  Merry Christmas Nibblers.

This is the Newsnibbles official Chicken, made a bit festive.

So, what are our aims for 2017?  Well, we would like to diversify our content, cover more stories from around the world, maybe review films from different areas too, interview more interesting people and continue to expand our readership.  Badger is hoping to release at least one more book, and the collaborative fantasy magazine she has been contributing to should be out too.

So, if there is anything you would like us to cover, or review, then get in touch, we can’t cover it if we don’t know about it.  So, let’s now move on from 2016, and face 2017 head on.

Happy New Year, Nibblers!

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Nibblets

Standing Rock Stands Firm

You may remember in a previous nibblet we reported on Big Oil trying to frack all over the Native American’s holy land at Standing Rock.  The peaceful protest received minimal coverage in the mainstream media, possibly because the police and military were sent in to disperse the peaceful protesters, reportedly resorting to rubber bullets and tear gas.  As with The Great Tangerine himself, it seems that freedom of speech (including the right to protest) is only protected if you are saying what they want to hear.  However, it has been announced that the pipeline will look for alternative routes, which is a win for the protesters!  Whilst it is still possible that the big oil companies will wait for the next administration in January, and appeal, this is a small win, and in a year of possibly the most depressing news of all time, we’ll take a small win.

Read more in The Guardian

Austria Says No to Fascism

With the increasing moves to the far right across the world, most shockingly with the election of The Great Tangerine (rather like Voldemort, Newsnibbles will not use his name) it seemed likely that other countries would follow suit.  However, the election results from last night’s election revealed the a 53% majority voted against the far right candidate, leaving us with hope that 2017 might be better.

Read more in Rueters

There’s Beef in Them Notes

The discovery of “tallow” a by product of beef and mutton, in the new plastic £5 released by The Bank of England earlier this year has caused vegans and vegetarians to raise a petition, which has to date received over 106,000 signatures, and according to The Telegraph the bank are treating the concerns raised with the “utmost seriousness”.  So this is more positive news, take that 2016!  We would like to take a moment in this nibblet to address some points raised to us whilst discussing this story, in typical balanced, fair, Newsnibbles style.

Point 1: Raised by Louise.  “Well, it’s only something like 0.007% tallow.”

Well, yes, but a cow or a sheep still had to die as a result of that tiny percentage, which is totally unnecessary.  Animal by products are not an acceptable medium to use for something as central as money, no matter what percentage it is. DOH.

Point 2: Raised by an anonymous Facebook user: “Why should I sign your petition when you don’t care about people being exploited, people are animals too…” (paraphrased).

This is as stupid as the “all lives matter” argument that white people who don’t understand racism use.  But, because just calling it stupid doesn’t help disperse the ignorance, we’ll break it down for you here:

So, 1, vegans and vegetarians do care about people.  Maybe not you personally, son, as you are, putting it politely being a douche right now.  The fact that they don’t want animals in their money does not mean that they don’t give a shit about the starving children and food bank users created by this government’s austerity measures.  What it means is THEY DON’T WANT DEAD ANIMALS IN THEIR MONEY!  People can choose not to eat meat, they can choose whether they are serious enough about it not to wear leather either, or not use anything containing animal by products.  If they want to live in this country they do not have a choice about money.  They have to use the money until Corbyn comes to power and some communist barter system is established that will be the envy of the western world.  That’s the facts, no choice about money, that’s why it’s a problem.

2. Yes, people are animals too (someone got their GCSE science, didn’t they?). But people have voices – animals don’t.  These people are standing for voiceless animals, that’s why the sheep and cows haven’t started their own petition, the lack of opposable thumbs makes this problematic for them, so the vegans did it.  Back off the vegans and pick a bigger battle.

We will be happy to address any other issues you have with any of these Nibblets in similar patient and understanding style in the comments below.  Please feel free to ask.

And read more about the beefy fivers in The Telegraph

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Starbucks Trumps it’s “War on Christmas”

Warning: contain more sarcasm than previous editions.
Approach with caution.

Trump Cups

Those of you who have been living in a box may not know, that the apocalypse has begun, 2016 is officially the year the world as we know it ended. Not only did Brexit happen, but it failed to serve as a warning to America, who seem to have inexplicably elected Donald Trump as their president. No, really.

The oppressed white male majority have since found the strength to speak out about the oppression they have been suffering over the years, most recently at the hands of Starbucks, allegedly…

According to CNN, a video of a Trump supporter shouting at a barista, went viral.  On the website it states that the man claimed racial discrimination, and that the barista refused to serve him because  he supported Trump.  If you are feeling his pain though, fear not.  The Trump supporting side of the Twitterverse has found the most ingenious way to fight back.  #TrumpCups. They are protesting Starbucks, by asking for the name Trump to be written on their cups.  That’s right, the are protesting them by buying their product.  It is utter genius.  If anyone would like to protest my books in a similar vein, please do so, I am happy to inscribe the inside cover “to dear Donald, with best wishes” if that’s what floats your boat.  I’m told I have lovely penmanship, and the general sway of the stories is quite left wing, so it would be the perfect protest for you, really.

The one problem they may (if they haven’t already) encounter, is that if there is more than one of them protesting at the same time, how will they know whose coffee’s whose?  Maybe they don’t even care, it’s the principle, after all.

The CNN report also states that:

Starbucks has responded to the protest by clarifying that it doesn’t require its partners to write or call out names.
“Over the years, writing customer names on cups and calling out their names has been a fun ritual in our stores,” a Starbucks spokesperson said. “Rarely has it been abused or taken advantage of. We hope and trust that our customers will continue to honor that tradition.”
Damn, foiled again.  If you thought the whole Starbucks “war on Christmas” was hilarious, this is even better.
What’s the Starbucks war on Christmas, we hear you cry (because apparently, whilst we noticed it, we failed to publish it).  Basically, at Christmas Starbucks changed it’s cup from white to red, but this wasn’t festive enough for some people, who seemed to feel that anything less than a full blown Nativity scene on their cup was a war on Christmas. We could be simplifying, or not.  However, Starbucks did attempt to make the cup more festive by turning it into a tree decoration.  There’s just no pleasing some people…
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