A Christmas light ceremony at a Mall in Reading almost came to an anti-climactic early end when the abseiling Santa caught his beard
in the rope and was left hanging whilst the lights were turned on without him!
Since Rudolph was no-where to be seen Santa was left hanging fifteen feet in the air for half an hour whilst the lights were turned on without him.
Concerned onlookers waited for Santa to be lowered to safety before leaving the mall. It was suggested that Santa could have freed himself sooner if he had removed his beard, but here at Newsnibbles we wonder about the practicalities of removing one’s beard whilst dangling fifteen feet above the ground. Presuming that Santa carries his Philishave with him at all times plugging it in from that height could be problematic, although the wire is curly it probably wouldn’t stretch fifteen feet. A wet shave would not be possible unless someone was able to elevate water, and without water a shaving rash could be very irritating to the skin.
As our resident man we asked Pat if he could think of any other dangers to shaving whilst dangling in mid air. After some thought he came up with what he felt were the three main difficulties:
There are a number of serious dangers:
1) Losing focus: it’s quite likely that one’ll get distracted half way through a shave with the thoughts of “OH GOD OH GOD I’M GOING TO DIE AREN’T I?!?!”, which can often cause a lack of focus and thus a patchy shave and – in some terrible circumstances – a slight nick to the skin.
2) Gusting wind: with a similar shocking outcome to the first hazard, a random gust of wind can send one’s razor sliding in an unwanted direction. Specifically right across one’s throat.
3) Letting go: in the unlikely event of a successful shave, the elation and celebration at this point can have the shaver fall from one’s hands onto an innocent party below. Even with a smooth chin, one can’t help but feel a sense of failure when looking down to see a body with a shaver-shaped hole in them.
So, in conclusion, we think that Santa did the right thing by simply dangling to await rescue. It is unclear where Rudolph was, but had he been there he could no doubt have flown up and helped.
We asked the fans if they had ever been left hanging anywhere. To demonstrate our technical expertise, and to save the effort of actually writing anything further we have embedded the response below.
@badgerstweettoo Yes. From the washing line. By my ears.
— Bullseye (@BullseyePuppy) November 23, 2012
Read the full BBC report and see a video of the gravity defying Santa by clicking here
See more by Pat Scullion at www.patscullion.co.uk
