A school in Essex has banned the serving of triangular flapjacks after one was thrown at a pupil causing an injury resulting in them being sent home from school. This solution may seem a bit overdone to some, especially since square or rectangular flapjacks are still on the menu.
According to the BBC Report as a result of the injury, “The school said the “isolated accident” had led to a review of “the texture and shape of the flapjacks” provided.”
Being so angry and jaded, here at Newsnibbles we have managed fairly easily to poke several holes in their plan. We have even created a helpful and educational diagram below before we begin, to help those of you who are unsure of the difference between a square and a triangle, as we realise that this report may be confusing for you.
Potential Flaws in the Plan:
- If the school has a maths policy in place which teaches children about shapes than a particularly cunning child could take a ruler (we are presuming that dinner knives are also banned) and divide their square or rectangular flapjack into two triangular flapjacks (see diagram above), thus creating two offensive weapons as opposed to the single trajectory as previously provided by the school.
- If it is the sharp angles that are the perceived problem, then a square has four as opposed to a triangle’s three (see diagram) thus making the triangle arguably less dangerous.
- Even if the school opted for round flapjacks (which would be very wasteful) there is the chance that a stray oat could fly free and blind an unsuspecting child.
But we are not here to just pick fault. We have also come up with a list of possible solutions for them to consider.
Possible Solutions:
- All children must wear protective eye wear before entering the lunch room, and throughout the lunch period to prevent possible injuries.
- Flapjacks, along with any other potentially dangerous foods, such as overcooked peas, apples, oranges and other fresh fruit products that could cause bruising if thrown hard enough be banned, and only soft food such as mashed potato and semolina be served, at room temperature to prevent burning or chill injuries.
- And this last one is a bit crazy, but we like to have three. Please don’t write in. How about the school put some sort of discipline policy in place to prevent children from throwing food and hurting one another…
Since America is always streets ahead of us when it comes to this type of thing, we asked our American Correspondent, Bee to tell us how she prevents flapjack related personal injury. She told us:
In America, a flapjack is pretty much the same thing as a pancake, which is kind of like a smooth flat waffle. The only way I could see them being dangerous is if you had a whole stack slathered in butter and maple syrup.
The way to prevent that would be NOT to eat a whole stack slathered in butter and maple syrup.
Are American flapjacks safer than British ones?? Well-as far as I know, they don’t have a lobby in Washington, and all the dangerous things here have lobbyists protecting them.
This sort of thing gives health and safety a bad name. It’s the discipline that is the problem and not the flapjack. The school needs to review and uphold its discipline policy and not the policy regarding the shape of its flapjacks.
