We have been receiving unconfirmed reports that the world as we know it, is
in fact, at an end.
There have been reports from Europe that a small cafe in Vienna has been besieged by zombies, who are trying to eat the brains of locals. There have also been unconfirmed reports of earthquakes, and a horse with wings.
One source tells us that this unpleasant series of events was started by one man, who was playing on the internet when he should have been working. Whilst we are yet to confirm, it seems likely, as that is what you are doing right now, isn’t it? ISN’T IT???
A random old woman who was laughing manically outside the cafe told our reporter:
None of this would have happened if he’d just kept it in his pants. He knows it, but given the chance he’d do it all over again. Not that anyone ever listens to me…
She went on to say something about how to stop this from happening, but we’d stopped listening by then.
Speaking exclusively to Newsnibbes, author Angelika Rust said:
It’s alternative facts, of course. You know, fiction.
But, since false is the new true, we’re covering it anyway. Read the full story below.
