So, it has come to our attention that Badger actually knows very little about sports, (apart from Tennis obviously), so rather than call these observations a commentary, we’ll just call them thoughts. Enjoy.
Tennis: 5th August
- Well done to all the ladies on bikes, you pedaled really fastly.Nice job. #insertbadgerhashtaghere
- Well done to the lady who did seven things and got gold. Good running at the end there. #badgersolypiccommentary
- Ooo, am I late for the tennis? What should my hash tag be?
- So far I like that this is more colourful than Wimbledon. Andy is in blue, and Roger is in red.
- Glad to hear that @AndrewCastle80 is back in the commentary box. Perhaps glad is too strong a word…
- Commenting on the empty seats again. If I’d been invited I’d have taken up at least three. #nooneinvitesthebadger
- Well that’s nice and positive, Andrew, a good miss. We don’t have losers, only runners up. #winwin
- The balls are yellow I notice, can you sing a rainbow too?
- *Claps*
- Has anyone else noticed that the blue shirt has a quarter of the UK flag on? Trendy.
- Andy’s doing very well isn’t he? We’re in some water now, looking at boats… what I miss?
- Oh, we’re back at Wimbledon, I’m getting dizzy.
- Is playing toe to toe like dancing cheek to cheek? Andrew thinks Murray looks potent, which is troubling.
- That bloke’s calling for juice again, you’d think he’d be always in the toilet.
- Yes, Andrew, it is like table tennis, only without the table, but other than that…
- Andy is on FIRE! Not literally, that was commentator talk. #makebadgerabbccommentator
- Andrew doesn’t think Roger looks great, I beg to differ, I think red is his colour.
- “If in doubt smack it” – this is only true for tennis and computers, Andrew should have specified that.
- We’re back in the water again! I can’t work like this! #strops#makebadgerabbccommentator
- Sport about staying in the present tense apparently… I think he’s paid per word…
- That was a nice rally. Reminds me of a game I played last week on the WII.
- Ooo, Andrew just took that sorry, no personal injury claims today then? @AndrewCastle80
- I actually think he is paid by the word, all the more reason to #makebadgerabbccommentator – come on people, get it trending!
- Grunts, grunts, grunts, oooo…. *Cheers* *Applauds*
- *Claps* Well done Roger, @AndrewCastle80 has changed his tune. #makebadgerabbccomentator
- Nice hit, nice return, nice hit, nice return. Advance Roger. *claps* #makebadgerabbccommentator
- Apparently Andy feels comfortable staying back on the short ball, I don’t know what this means, maybe they shouldn’t #makebadgerabbccommentator
- Oooo! NET!!! #makebadgerabbccommentator
- It’s sunny too, I haven’t said that yet… @Chimpdecheese#makebadgerabbccommentator
- We should be commentating this match @SirBlimelyWindy , we’d be ace. #makebadgerabbccommentator
- @SirBlimelyWindy and I like juice…
- I can’t continue my commentary because @AndrewCastle80 is driving me crazy. Not in a sexual way…
- OK, sucks it up and ignores background annoyance. Net, first service.
- The crowd is getting a tad loud and unruly, don’t they realise this is Wimbledon? #makebadgerabbccommentator
- Nice close up on Roger’s Nike shoe. And in slowmo. I thought the Beeb didn’t advertise… #makebadgerabbccommentator
- There is only so much you could say about balls and bats and nets. Maybe I should start to burble incomprehensibly? #makebadgerabbccommentator
- Go on my son, goooo ooon. *we aren’t actually related, but apparently that is what one says at these events… #makebadgerabbccommentator
- Towel break…
- Juice.
- Ooer missus, Roger needs to be more dominant with his forehand apparently. I can’t hold a candle to @AndrewCastle80 when it comes to this techy talk.
- I wish they’d stop calling each other “love” – it’s very familiar… #makebadgerabbccommentator
- Apparent Murray can get the power and penetration… and that’s long… is it hot in here? #makebadgerabbccommentator
- Towel break. #makebadgerabbccommentator
- New balls! Not really, I just wanted to say balls. #makebadgerabbccommentator
- Well done Andy! A gold plated silver nickel medal is on its way to you! Congrats!! #makebadgerabbccommentator
- That woman sounds like she’s crying every time she serves, what’s that about?
- silver will look better on those blue tops anyway.
Gymnastics: 6th of August
- I don’t think I’m capable of commentating on the gymnastics. I do like the sparkly outfits though…
- Wow. He was very muscular indeed…
- He wears short shorts… I don’t mind though.
- Look at them arms…
- Is it a rule that they have to keep their arms straight like a soldier when they run? This is where some sporting knowledge would be of use…
- Well that run wasn’t dainty like a ballerina, super somersault though…
- Wow, he was straight and spinny, like a pencil in an electric sharpener. Sometimes I use simile, I think it adds something to a commentary.
- Wow, he was spinning like a spinny thing. #similefail
- Apparently he’s churning them out like sausages. That was a power simile from the commentary team, if a slightly disturbing image.
- Are moustaches still in fashion? He looks like… #similefail
- Wowser! He flew like the wind! Does wind fly. Is my commentary going downhill rapidly.
- Who won? I missed it! #commentaryfail
Equestrian
- Ooo, now there’s a man on a horse. The horse is 10. He just jumped over 2 fences.
- This horse jumps almost as high as the gymnasts.
- Ooo, the Dutch horse knocked the fence over, I’m no expert but I don’t think he should have done that…
- I wonder if I’d be better off commentating on something I know about.
- A jump off for the gold. Braces self.
- I hope you were watching that bit cos she spoke too quick for me. Do you want me to switch to BBC3 or see what’s on here?
- Oh dear, the bikes seem complicated… do we want bikes or horses?
- BBC3 has adverts, should I commentate on those too?
- Jump off: Britain vs Holland. Stand by, my commentary will begin shortly. So as not to miss a thing follow #badgershorsecommentary
- OK, we’re here, with Claire, and a lot of people are on their feet while they reset the course. All four jump, best three counted. #badgershorsecommentary
- There is concern that there will be a storm. Presumably they don’t have a roof like Wimbledon. #badgershorsecommentary
- If I had a horse I’d put glitter on it like the gymnasts, it’d be festive. #badgershorsecommentary
- Ooo, wirecam that goes across the river and the Thames. Caught on camera… new blooper show? #badgershorsecommentary
- Here’s Nick and Big Star… #badgershorsecommentary
- Clop clip clop clip clop, jump, clear. Clip clop clip clop clip clop, jump, clear. Clip clop clip clop clip clop, All clear.
- According to the commentator this is like a penalty shoot out. I don’t see it, where’s the balls? #badgershorsecommentary
- Ooo, Dutch chap’s off, I missed that, think he’s doing well though. Rattled but not knocked off. #badgershorsecommentary
- His back is very straight. And the horse jumps very high. *claps politely* – nicely jumped Ben. #badgershorsecommentary
- Now Michael for Holland, another rattle, early on. Oo, and knocked a pole off. #badgershorsecommentary
- Oh dear more dropped poles, that one wasn’t so sharp. #badgershorsecommentary
- Here’s Scott for Team GB, clip clop clip clop jump, clip clop clip clop pole down, clip clop clip clop jump. #badgershorsecommentary
- Rest was clear. People are clapping lots so presume that went well. #badgershorsecommentary
- Orange jacket’s are up again. I prefer pink myself. #badgershorsecommentary
- Nicely jumped so far, very clean jumping. Do I sound like a pro? Oh no, apparently he’s slow. Faster than me. #badgershorsecommentary
- Do you have to be a Lord/Lady to play in the horse competition? They don’t call the other people Mr/Mrs do they? #badgershorsecommentary
- OK, here’s Peter. Sitting on a horse. Trotting, jumping fences. Quite poetic that. #badgershorsecommentary
- Britain has the gold. Everyone is cheering very loudly. Have they no sense of decorum? #badgershorsecommentary
