No, no, we didn’t spell it wrong, it’s a pun, see. A mysterious hole has appeared in the middle of a street in Bromley, and no-one knows from whence it came. This magic portal into we know not where, is said by News Shopper (yes, that’s really what it’s called) to have appeared after the weekend of the 15th of June and has been there ever since.*
The report quotes someone as saying that when she took her daughters to school the following Monday, the hole had “just appeared there”, but we know from having read earlier in the report (if we can trust it that is) that it could actually have appeared two days prior at least. Their eye witness to the aforementioned hole (we are not calling it a magic hole at this point, as this would be pure speculation on our part) went on to say that “It is bang in the middle of the road, and several inches deep”.
Based on the picture that is run with the report the hole is in concrete, which begs the question, if it isn’t a magic hole, how was it formed? Here at Newsnibbles we suspect bionic moles. These critters are a race of super-strong, man made moles, that have the incredible burrowing ability to get through solid concrete in a matter of minutes. If this is the case then they must have been created by a super villain with some diabolical plan in mind. Of course this is mere speculation at this point, so please do not panic unduly. If you do see a bionic mole, then please do not approach it. Retreat to a safe distance, take a photo and send it to us, before calling your local authorities. It is likely that they will have a plan in place in case of bionic mole invasion, and will be able to advise you as to the location of your nearest shelter. We imagine it will be in the air.
*The report was published on the 4th of July, and we didn’t bother looking for an update, so the hole may well be gone now.
