Nibblers, this is a public service
announcement. Today, on Twitter, Badger made a disturbing discover. Sperm is out to get you. According to a random MEME (is that what you call words that are turned into pictures? Who cares) all sperm that you have ever come into contact with burrows into your brain, body spinal column, eyebrows etc and lives with you forever. Essentially you are taking on part of any sperm contact you have ever had. It lives forever!! If your eyebrows seem to take on a life of their own, it could be sperm trying to get out. You know you can get pregnant from the swimming pool, too, right?
Here is the original tweet:
Eeek, right? Suppose if you aren’t an “independent female” you only have your husband’s sperm escaping through your ears? Marriage means accepting sperm ears. Fact. Being a hard hitting news reporting organisation, and getting almost as excited by this piece of breaking news as we were by the whole Badger/Ramsey Lookalike Sex Scandal of 2012 we decided to do some research. According to The Mayo Clinic (not like Mayonnaise, hopefully)
The life span of sperm after ejaculation depends on the circumstances. Ejaculated sperm remain viable for several days within a woman’s reproductive tract or in nutritive liquid (culture medium) in a lab setting. Fertilization is possible as long as the sperm remain alive — at least five days. Sperm also can be preserved for years when semen is frozen.
It says absolutely nothing about it working its way into your brain and staying with you for the rest of your life, interesting, we must dig deeper. Surely this meme was based on some sort of scientific fact? It can’t just have been made up to scare gullible people, can it? We sought another expert to see if they could verify the factual accuracy of the meme… Our newly appointed last minute science correspondent, @TheWallStreetBull told us.
@BadgersTweetToo Sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart. There is nothing even vaguely resembling science involved in this screed, so let it go. — The Wall Street Bull (@TheWallStBull) May 31, 2015
He went on to say:
Immortal burrowing sperm? “Um hmm, yes, I see. Tell me more about accidentally catching your parents have sex when you were 4 years old.”
