Bare Faced Cheek!

In art news this week a thirty-six year old woman has been arrested and charged with criminal mischief after having rubbed her naked buttocks all over some artwork.

The event occurred at Denver Clyfford Still Museum on the 4thof January.  The woman in question, who was allegedly drunk, entered

We did not have a picture of an ass in our archives. This primitive horse was the nearest thing we could find, and was depicted by The Grumpy Badger. Copyright 2009

the museum, pulled down her trousers and rubbed her buttocks all over the abstract painting 1957-J no 2.  She then proceeded to punch the artwork which presumably led to it feeling a lot more abstract about itself.  It is possible that she caused $10,000 worth of damage to the piece, as the jury is still out as to whether she projectile urinated on it, which is lovely.

We asked a number of artists whether they would be prepared to comment on this story, but they declined.  Presumably they were afraid of the ramifications coming back to bite them in the ass, or they did not wish to subject their work to being pissed all over, we shall never know.

This is just the latest incident in a series of bizarre occurrences of artwork being attacked across America.  According to ANIMALNewYork the attack of drunken buttocks (as we shall be referring to it, as presumably will historians) makes a refreshing change from the more targeted hate attacks on artworks sweeping the country.

In Loveland, Colorado a series of lithographs depicting Jesus in a rather compromising position were attacked by a trucker with a crow bar.   Dubbed by ANIMALNewYork “The blasphemy buster” the woman is said to have destroyed the exhibit, injuring herself in the process.  She is quoted as saying “How can you desecrate my lord?” before sitting down and patiently awaiting the SWAT team.  Guess she won’t be truckin’ for a while now.

It seems that not even Gauguin is immune from causing offense.  His depiction of “Two Tahitian Women” – which presumably arose from his time spent living in Tahiti and observing the locals and customs – was attacked by a woman visiting the National Gallery, Washington, who claimed it depicted “Very Homosexual Art.”  Having examined the painting we would say the art is mildly homosexual at best, but she was in contact with the CIA through the radio in her head so is clearly an authority on the subject.

One Washington resident told Newsnibbles “major nutter, lives not too far away from where I work, it was a big story here last spring.”

There we are then.

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