The Poo That Broke The Internet

Last week, a woman on a Tinder date in Bristol hit the headlines for an unusual reason.  She became stuck, upside-down in a bathroom window after climbing in to try and fish out a lump of poo.

The self proclaimed “Shirehampton Sh*t Slinger” had been on a date to the most romantic of retreats, Nandos, and had returned to the House on Poo Corner, as the interns have dubbed it, to finish the romantic evening with a bottle of wine and a documentary on Scientology. What could be better?  Perhaps she ordered too much side salad, perhaps there was too much caffeine in the after dinner coffee, perhaps wine just gets her that way, the truth is, we may never know the true cause of the incident, but, at some point during the evening, the woman in question had to excuse herself to the bathroom.

Under any other circumstances, the egg she laid would have impressive. We are clearly talking Guinness World Record sized turd, because try as she might, it would not flush away.  Rather than getting a bucket of water, or covering the offending article with tissue, poo panic set in, and poo panic logic dictated that the best course of action would be too fish said faeces out of the bowl, and fling it out of the window… one can only presume with the hope of blaming a passing horse…  Unfortunately, the plan went awry went the sash window turned out to have a second pane of glass behind the first, trapping the offending turd in the gap.  Not to be defeated by mere glass, our intrepid hero then climbs up and reaches in to retrieve the offending specimen, only to get stuck, see picture below…

    The fire brigade had to be called to retrieve her.  The adventure has a happy ending, however, as according to The Metro, not only are the couple going to see each other again, but the window has been fixed for free, and the money raised through crowd funding originally designated to fix the window is going to charity.

Here at Newsnibbles, we would like to add our own special thanks to the couple, for giving us something to write about, we feel we are truly back doing what we do best.

Do you have a similar story? Why not share it with us in the comments below?

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Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, where we challenge you to guess what Feathers and Toast is miming.  If you guess correctly you could be in with a chance of winning the mime of your choice being performed.

Last week’s mime was  an inflatable flamingo pool toy being deflated. No-one guessed it, why would they? Honestly?  Have a go at this one instead! We’ll announce the winner next week.

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7 Questions

This week’s 7 Questions are with author of the Shiva XIV series, Lyra Shanti.  As an animal lover, we felt it only appropriate to get her views on pet couture, as well as the perfect sandwich filling and her books…

1. You love theatre, have you ever considered writing for the stage?

Actually, my husband and creative partner, Timothy Casey, and I have already written for the stage. We started off with children’s musicals, and one was even produced at a local theatre, but we have since written a full-length musical and a play. The musical is called “#chat” and is about a group of music lovers who form intense online relationships at the turn of the millennium. We recorded a concept album for it where we played and sang everything ourselves. You can find a few songs from it on my website at lyrashanti.com. We plan on writing more musicals in the future as well!

2. What inspired you to write in sci fi, as opposed to any other genre?

I’m drawn to sci-fi and fantasy because I love being taken away to another realm. I don’t like reality much, I suppose.  Life should have more magic and dreams, in my opinion!

3. I saw somewhere that you include diverse characters in your writing. Do you think this is important in sci fi?

I think it’s important in EVERY genre. The world we live in is diverse! To represent it otherwise would be silly. In sci-fi worlds, there would be even more diversity, considering we’re dealing with various alien races from different planets. There should be every kind of colour, gender, sexual preference, and anything else possible!

4. If you could make a film of your new book, who would you cast and why?

Hmm… for The Dragon Warrior of Kri, I picture its main character and hero, Meddhi, as a very handsome, broad-shouldered semi-Asian looking man. Not easy to find! Maybe if Bruce Lee could be reanimated and brought back to life?

Meddhi’s best friend, Prince Atlar, should be blond, beautiful and very masculine. Maybe Brad Pitt?

Princess Pira should look like a mix of European and Indian. I can’t imagine who could play her, but she’d be extremely beautiful!

5. Have you ever considered writing in a different genre?

Yes. In fact, I’ve done so already. I have a biblical fiction called “The Rainbow Serpent.” It’s basically a loose re-imagining of The Garden of Eden, told from the snake’s point of view. It’s quite different than any version you’ve heard before.

I’m also very close to finishing a romantic drama called “The Artist.” It is the story of a multi-talented artist named Apollo who searches for the balance between artistic genius and madness, all while looking for true love. It’s a bit erotic and totally different from my previous novels. The Artist will be released in 2018.

Also, I write free form poetry and prose. You can find my poetry collection, Sediments, as well as The Rainbow Serpent on Amazon.com.

6. Describe your ideal sandwich.

That’s a tough one! I’m all about mood, so one day, it could be a chicken salad croissant. The next, it could be turkey and avocado! Love croissants… and crusty French bread! Pumpernickel rocks too.

7. Where do you stand on pet couture?

I didn’t even know what that meant! I had to Google! Um… I like giving my cats toys once in awhile… but they’re more likely to play with a stray milk carton cap than a toy I paid for, so… I don’t bother much. As for pet clothes, they’re cute and all, but I can’t help but pity the animals who have to wear them. Some little dogs get genuinely cold though, and they seem to love those little sweaters they wear. Who am I to judge?

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Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, where you have to guess what Feathers and Toast is miming. If you guess correctly then you could be in with a chance of winning the mime of your choice being performed. We will announce the winners with next week’s mime.

Well done to anyone who said “goldfish” for last week’s mime. If you’d said it to us then you might have won, but perhaps you’re just in it for the personal satisfaction…

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Monday Mystery Mime

Yes… it’s Wednesday. Stop being so critical all the time. It’s not like any of you ever bother entering anyway, is it?

So, every week Feathers and Toast performs a mysterious mime, and, if you guess it correctly you win the chance to have the mime of your choice performed. How exciting.

And congratulations to last week’s winners, Deva Palmier, Michele Morrison, Sarah Venus and Joe Pranaitis with eclipse. Well done to you.

Can you guess what it is this week?

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Nibblets

The Scientists Made Me Do It!

Sounds like an excuse as shoddy as ‘the dog ate my homework’, doesn’t it, but in this instance it’s absolutely true!

Researchers at University at Buffalo College of Arts and Sciences, have developed a “minimally invasive procedure”, which allows them to electrically stimulate the neurons in the brains of mice, and control their movements! Can you say eeek? According to BGR, the research could lead to the treatment of mood disorders, and, according to our interns it could lead to a zombie slave army. The interns have a thing about zombies.

Read more on bgr.com

Beyond the Ring

NASAs Cassini Probe has been orbiting Saturn for 20 years, sending back amazing images of the giant planet and its moons. Now it is running out of fuel, so the scientists have set it on a crash course with the surface of the planet, which means it is set to send back closer surface images than ever before.  If it reveals a golf course there is every possibility that a certain orange skinned phenomenon could be persuaded to move, it’s this kind of science that saves the world. Anyway, there’s an in depth article, along with some cool pictures and artists’ impressions on sci-techunivers.com – so maybe check them out.

Super Sonic Badger Spotted

A super sonic badger and a woman in a purple mask foiled a mugging last night.  The unidentified pair swooped in, just as a couple of theatre goers were about to lose their belongings to a gang of youths in an alley behind a restaurant….

Alright, not really, but if you quite like the idea of this story, you’ll probably like Badger’s new book!  It’s available for preorder on Kindle, and you can get in touch via Facebook to order paper. Also, come to the party, you know it’ll be more fun if you’re there, and as it’s on the internet, you don’t even need to wash!

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Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again where you have to guess what Feathers and Toast is miming. Guess it right and you could win the mime of your choice being performed. Don’t guess at all, and you win NOTHING. We don’t even know you’re there. So go on, have a go.

Congratulations to last week’s winner, Abbey L Craig with beach ball, how she got that we’ll never know. Good luck, Nibblers!

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Superheroes with Style!

From the author of I Wore Heels to the Apocalypse comes the hilarious sequel.

What is better than a sarcastic talking badger? A sarcastic talking badger with superpowers, of course!

Having survived the apocalypse, Kerry is back to being a socially awkward web developer, but when apocalypse survivors start ending up dead, with her next on the list, events begin to spiral out of control. Follow Kerry as she deals with life and fashion challenges, whilst trying to save the world in this hilarious sequel to I Wore Heels to the Apocalypse.

Be a hero, #WearTheCape

There was a really positive reaction to Heels, over all,” said Clepitt when asked about her sequel.  “People loved the badger, which was to be expected, and they were all sad when he disappeared at the end. Of course spirit guides are only around as long as you need them, and since in this new story, Kerry’s life becomes a bit of a disaster, we see the triumphant return of the badger in all its sarcastic glory.”

I think it’s really important to write diverse characters,” she added.  “The world is not purely one type of person, despite what traditional canon would have us believe and it is essential that everyone is represented.  As authors we have a responsibility to write diverse characters where we can.  It is also important to write what we know, so it is equally essential that we help and encourage diverse authors, so that all perspectives are represented within a modern canon. I also don’t think we should have to add “warning labels” to our writing, you don’t warn readers that your books contain straight people, do you? No-one’s worried that it will somehow offend people. Bigotry is not a sensibility I think we need to consider.”

Everything is Better With a Cape is due for release September 3rd. Visit chclepitt.com for more information.

And of course, there’s a party on Facebook. Click “interested” to join the fun.

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Monday Mystery Mime

It’s that time of the week again, where you have to guess what Feathers and Toast is miming. Guess it right and you are in with a chance of winning the mime of your choice being performed, so why not have a go?

Last week’s mime was a fly buzzing against a window. Congratulations if you said that, you didn’t say it to us though, so you didn’t win. Go on, use your words, it isn’t that difficult.  Just have a look at this one and have a go, eh?  Answers in the comments.

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Found in Translation

Found in Translation is our weekly(ish) segment where we work with our friends at Ammy’s Delight to learn a Dutch saying, and find out if it has an equivalent in English.  It’s fun to find out what we all have in common, so why not get in touch, either on Facebook, Twitter or right here in the comments section, and tell us what it is in your language?

So, this week’s saying is:

LEVEN ALS KAT EN HOND

Which literally translates as:

LIVE AS CAT AND DOG

But in context is used for when people are always arguing.

And of course, in English we say:

FIGHTING LIKE CATS AND DOGS

What is it in your language?

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